l No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. l

| July 21, 2004 || 11:34 a.m. |

I went and done it, I ebay�ed again but I swear I couldn�t control myself. I just had to have these [1] [2] Can you tell I have a thing for that particular company? I�m such a CC whore, even when I can�t really afford it. But even in European money I�d spend less bidding right?

I am once again too tired to really function. I have all of these retarded people from the major apartment company we deal with that does not seem to comprehend what �We have NOT received payment for that invoice� means. I tried to phrase it so many ways yet it seemed that she was just not listening at all. How many other ways can I say it? It�s been over a year since this damn invoice went out & you still think that we received a check that we have no record of? The corporate office may be a lot of things but wrong about their collections accounts is not one of them.

Damnit! I have the eiP password of the day for the Star 98.7 program but I can�t seem to get to the site. If anyone can access it please let me know, I need to enter that password before I forget it! I missed out on the Chris Isaac tickets. Damn them for posting it before I had enough points to buy it. But this time I am determined to save all my points until I can get something HUGE!! Last time when they were doing the VIP program I always wasted my points on little stuff like movie tickets to world premieres. I want good crap, ya know?

I am still awaiting my deposit check. It should be arriving no later then today since it�s now been 14 days since what was supposed to be my last day [even though I was completely out by the day before]. I seriously need it to be in the mailbox today when I check it or else I am kind of screwed. I have a balance of less then twenty bucks right now in my checking account & a few bills I have to pay. Fuck I hate that. I don�t get my next check until the 30th too & most of that is for my rent. I know I am supposed to use that deposit to give to the owner as my last months rent [which is illegal to ask for first and last but wtfever], but I just can�t give him all of it right now, there is no way I can survive if I did that. Hell I have less than a quarter a tank of gas right now.

I can�t wait to submit my letter of resignation. I am so tempted to just do it right now. People here are so fucking retarded & I swear the people I deal with on a daily basis at our corporate office gets bitchier & bitchier with every damn email exchange. Some people just ask the most retarded questions so when I answer them & show them just how dumb it was they get all pissy & have to say something even more retard to what? Make a point? Yeah, you just proved my point on just how fucking retarded you really are. Can you tell I am ecstatic to get out of this hellhole?

Today�s scope~ You're about to receive an offer -- the kind that will change your life. If either of you isn't quite available to finalize the deal, don't sign anything. Why hurry? Try to put off any discussions of important (although mundane-seeming) issues for a few days. Details will be overwhelming, so take your time even if your partner is ready to deal with them. Feeling like poor company today? If truth be told, you are -- but only for yourself. Other people will love to have you around, so get out and onto the town already. You'll forget your worries soon enough. Weak, transient effect: Today during the day fancies and illusions may become more important than reality. With some people this takes the form of simple daydreams, which are not likely to be a problem. After all, daydreaming is quite harmless. This is not a good time to make decisions or to embark upon a course of action that requires clear thinking. Subconscious influences are often very strong during this time, and they can distort your views in just about any area. Old points of view, habits picked up in childhood, prejudices all can mislead you under this influence. People with an alcohol or drug problem may have difficulty with this influence. It gives everyone a strong desire to leave the real world, which strengthens some people's dependence on drinking or drug taking.