l been working on this entry all damn day & this is all I could come up w/. l

| Friday, Nov. 07, 2003 || 1:43 p.m. |

John, thank you for being so sweet & concerned about my health. I always wonder sometimes if you are still reading my diary, as I am yours. We should leave more comments or notes I think. To kind of clarify so you won�t worry as much. I did eat, I wasn�t ever hungry as I still am not but I did eat at least one meal & a little bit through out the day such as fruit &/or a fruit cup, yogurt or cottage cheese. I was aware that I needed to eat regardless of my stomach not wanting it there. I am eating healthy, drinking plenty of water [my mouth is always dry] & trying to not unintentionally starve myself.

Wow, I just got off the phone w/ my insurance company & apparently the Wellbutrin XL is covered and I can get 3 months delivered for the same price as paying for 2 months via mail. All this great news just in time for me to head to my psychiatrist appointment @ 2:15! I never really wanted to be put on drugs for depression or what not but now I am beginning to like it. I feel so much better & relaxed. I am usually never relaxed & always as tense as a concrete wall. My mind is much more clear & I don�t get as frazzled w/ non-sense that I normally would. Don�t think that this is a wonder drug. There are a lot of the side effects that I am not particularly fond of such as: being constipated, my throat & mouth being so dry & strange feeling. I�ve noticed that the drug has effect my singing voice & that I really hate!

There�s some new girl that�s been hanging around Cheers on my night singing my songs. I don�t care about that but what really bothers me is the attitude that she puts out there. She looks @ me as if she is better than me & so high & mighty. I don�t mean to toot my own horn or anything but half of the songs she does [that I do or have done] are nothing compared to the emotion & quality that I put forth. But hey it�s okay. I don�t care cause she�ll never last @ Cheers. They never do, spend maybe 1-2 months going then bam! They disappear. I�ve been there now for going on 5 years, that�s right I just turned 24 & I�ve been hanging out & singing in Cheers [not to mention drinking] for going on 5. Isn�t life grand?

I just received an invite to another Jen home concert. If you are anywhere in the area of Southern Cali or even in the bay area & interested in partaking in the truly amazing vocal styling of this musical goddess w/ me please let me know. There are 2 dates left for this year. November 22nd & December 13th. They are both in her home up in the secluded, beautifully serene Santa Barbara mountains held on a Saturday evening starting @ 7:30 pm. It is a must @ least once in your lifetime. You can check out some of her music on her website. She is mostly compared to Tori Amos but even her style is different from her. She�s so difficult to make references to who she sounds a lot like cause she doesn�t!

Argh I need to get back to work. I did find out that Suisse�s mom leaves on Saturday & then he is going to some Russian show/dinner thing w/ fam friend on Sunday. It doesn�t look like I�ll see much of him this weekend, but ya know what? That�s okay. I know it�s going to take him some alone time before he is ready to share himself w/ me. He deserves the alone time. He�s gone over a month now sacrificing all of his time & car for his family.

My Romance Scope for today.
If you have been finding it hard going as far your current relationship is concerned, and are fed up with all the excuses you seem to be hearing, you will find yourself pouring your heart out about how you would really like things to be. Don't say what this person wants to hear, say what you need to say, and change your relationship for the better.