l Absence does make the heart grow fonder l

| March 21, 2004 || 12:54 p.m. |

You grow jealous of someone else's luck. It could happen to you, too any day in this time of new beginnings. To invite the spirit, you must be a receptive host -- otherwise, who knows what you'll get?

That was yesterday�s horoscope & it could not possibly have been any less true. I spent the whole day at the Renn Faire watching LBG w/ her precious princess & wanting that for myself. Her & I are in the same boat relationship wise. The only differences are I am still w/ my man & she has a baby with hers. I want a baby w/ mine & she wants a relationship w/ hers. We talked about our men, our love & how much we as women always want what we can�t have & it never fails but the ones we fall in love w/ always have baggage that keeps things a little less than 100%. We want more than anything to make things right, better � be the nurturers that we are destined to be yet they as men don�t want to be nurtured, they want to be their man, they don�t need or want what we are so willing & wanting to give.

Well I really enjoyed the entire Renn experience. So much in fact LBG�s mom is going to help make me a outfit to wear to the 7-week festival in Corona. I think my Boo�s mom will be in town towards the end of that one too & apparently she is really into that thing over in Switzerland. I think he might actually go w/ us! He seemed excited about the whole thing. That really shocked me. I would so love that!

I had my Renn cherry popped to. It was kind of gross but I guess I was deflowered by the best according Tia. I had to be deflowered thrice since LBG missed the first time & then decided to capture the moment on camera the third time. Well I got it again [all involuntarily] for the forth & last time around the end of the Faire. All I could do is think about my Boo though so on my drive back home I sent him a text message to let him know I was thinking about him. It was so adorable he wrote back almost immediately w/ �hi lol where are you?� He�s never really been concerned about where I was before. So I told him & where I was coming home from & he was like ? I got home late & he was at the Tavern w/ Bill so by the time I got home & he got home I had fallen asleep so he text messaged me that he�d call me in the morning. He did too! He said that he had missed me this weekend & wondered where I was so I asked him why didn�t he just call me? Silly boy said that he thought I was busy so that is why I hadn�t called. He is so strange that way. I said I always call you when you are busy or don�t want to talk to me so why don�t you call me when you are thinking about me or wondering about me? I am always calling you silly. He laughed & said �yeah everytime you call me I am usually sleeping. You like to call & wake me up� He was joking cause he hates being woke up & I said that if he only�d call me I�d know when not to call. We keep going around & around like that.

He & I talked a little about my LBG & her baby. I shared with him the situation w/ her man & he said that sounded all too familiar � fear of commitment caused my being hurt previously to us. Yea, my love, my dear true love. I wished on a falling star on my way out to Palm Springs that he would be free of these monsters & her soon. I want him to be free for his own happiness, our happiness.

| Deeper | throughts | Remembered |

I want her to want me I need for me to not want her - November 08, 2012
T.r.o.u.b.l.e is A.n.g.i.e. - November 06, 2012
So much has changed - October 29, 2012
Set in Stone - January 10, 2012
A lil teasing is considered foreplay. - December 21, 2011