l I hate Mondays & being kept up l

| July 19, 2004 || 12:38 p.m. |

Okay so my drunk ass meant to write �be back later� but I ended up w/ �be right back�. I spent the entire day w/ mom & her Aussie hubby. We had a lot of fun going to HB visiting her old friends & our old neighbors from back in my High school days. I got drunk & then had to come home to an unstable drunken roommate. Talk about a horrible night. Suisse & I got into a strange conversation that upset me [but everything is fine now] and then having to deal with noise, music & stomping around at 130A is not fun. They gave me a fucking migraine last night so I didn�t get to bed until well after 430A. It seemed like right when my alarm went off is when I fell asleep. I just can�t seem to sleep well here at all. It doesn�t fail. Every night spent here is restless. I thought being in the downstairs room would make things a lot better but no. Now I can just hear the drunk when she is stumbling around even more.

I really should get off my butt & go to work for the rest of the day but my boss told me not to worry about it. I should be worrying about it. The head accounting guy will be in our office tomorrow for a collections meeting. Fun shit, you know that is my favorite! Argh. I made an appointment to take a tour of the Culinary Arts College in Pasadena after work, since I am not at work perhaps it would be best I go now & miss all the traffic. I don�t know what I am thinking though, that is just more $$ that I just don�t have. Once again my paycheck is spent before I can even get through the weekend. I need to pick up my bridesmaid dress too but that requires $$. I seriously hope my deposit comes in the mail today or tomorrow, as that will be the only thing that keeps me from going negative this week. Even though I am supposed to give it over to Bill I can�t afford to right now. At least not give him all of it.

I need to eat. I need to shower. I need to get my shit taken care of so I can spend the time with my mom while she is here. There are a lot of things I need to do, everyone needs to do.

Last night I was an adult. I sat at the adult table drinking beer & sharing laughs with my mom�s friends while the kids, some of whom are 21 & 22 couldn�t really join in our conversations, I was an adult, I was there. I was looked upon & treated not like the other �kids� but as one of them. I began to talk about Suisse to C [Tra�s sister whom I haven�t seen since �97], and the first words out of her mouth then I started sharing about him was �This is love, girlfriend you are so in love�. I am & to hear someone that can tell just from the tone of my voice is a beautiful thing.

Today�s scope~You're due for an emotionally warm moment. Whether or not a physical hug accompanies it, you'll feel like it did. Arrange some time alone with the purveyor -- for obvious reasons.

Weekly scope~ The stars have you set up for stellar interpersonal relations this week, so carry a camera to capture all the fun. Monday and Tuesday emphasize friendship; someone may be coming to you for romantic counsel, and your smarts are more than equal to the task. Tuesday and Wednesday could be super-social, with you the queen bee in a buzzing hive of activity. Friday and Saturday are your special days to shine, and your love life can be absolutely luminous. The Fourth of July is over and done with, but you might be seeing some fireworks of your own.