l This one goes out to the one I love l

| July 26, 2004 || 12:10 p.m. |

I had a pretty good weekend�w/ my mom & her hubby. Friday night Suisse had promised that we�d go on a date, you remember that right? I ditched my cruise thing for that. Well he did call me before I even got off of work to tell me he was swinging by his famfriends house to give her a bottle of wine they got at the office [he knows I love wine yet never thinks of me when he gets them], so I asked him to call me when he was done & we�d go from there. I later had the thought that �ummm� just in case he stays a little while & ends up eating there I�ll call him�. I left a message asking if he would give me the courtesy of at least letting me know if he was going to eat there so I wouldn�t end up starving waiting for him to call when he was done. Well of course he left his phone in his car [yet again] and ate there calling me around 8P telling me he was on his way home & I should go ahead and eat. Plus he just wanted to stay home to watch �Starsky & Hutch�. So I grabbed the chicken lasagna I bought from Trader Joe�s & headed over to do the same thing we always do. We never watched the movie either cause there was too many good shows on [on a Friday that is fucking amazing but we both love �Monk�]. My lasagna took a lot longer than I thought it would to cook so I didn�t eat until well after 9P then factor in the strawberry ice cream I had� no wonder I�ve gained some weight back!

I am really getting tired of broken promises.

Saturday, since Suisse was headed to Bill�s birthday party & I apparently wasn�t invited [he said he didn�t know if he could bring anyone which HELLO?? A girlfriend who all ready knows the birthday boy & the host is automatically invited, a total stranger friend is not], I went to San Diego to see a mutual friend of me & my mom�s. Of course we all had a blast going to Hamburger Mary�s in Hillcrest & my mom even pointed out some cute chicas for me to scope out! We got toasted on their frozen cosmo�s and then walked around a little too long for my liking in the heat. I got so completely tired. I took a little involuntary nap on the way back home. Suisse and I had agreed that we would watch the movie that night & we�d call one another when one of us was done with our engagement. He said that he wouldn�t be staying long at BigD�s so I thought he�d end up calling me first. No way Jose. I called him first when I was just making it back into town & my mom was dropping me off at my car which was at his house � this was at 7P; I had left at 11:45A and he was supposed to be at BigD�s at noon. I tried calling once an hour to no answer at home or cell. I even text messaged him around 10P when I finally got a response 20 minutes later telling me he was safe & at home so I called. He didn�t want me to come over since he was tired & just going to jump online quickly then go to bed. Well something turned out to be wrong with his computer & since I was the last one using it the night before it was all my fault but all I had done was try to show him pictures of my cousin�s pregnant belly. He looked at one then walked away. Ooh did I mention that I got drunk & pissy with him that night too? When I first had come over he was on the patio doing French crosswords puzzle games & didn�t even bother to come in & give me a kiss or hug. I waited & turned on the TV, he then closed the sliding door rather than just the screen cause the noise. I felt like he didn�t even want me there so I proceeded to drink wine while I waited for my dinner. Not the best idea. The rest of the night when he finally came in we watched TV with me at one end of the couch & him stretching his legs across my lap. Other than that there was no affectionate stuff like him hugging me or anything. Perhaps I should have taken the initiative since I wanted it but I was half way drunk at this point & just bottled myself up getting all upset. I cried once we got into bed & then went to sleep on the couch. He came out & asked why I was sleeping out there & I said that I didn�t feel as if he wanted me there. Then he said either come back to bed or go home. When I got back into bed he grabbed my hand facing me & said if I didn�t want you here why would I ask you to come back to bed? I mentioned the lack of X�s & O�s and he denied not having give me them when I said no you didn�t, you just think you did. He asked why I didn�t just tackle him. I shrugged & then he leaned in, still holding my hand, and kissed me. We made love that next morning & of course it was spectacular. We never have had bad sex ever, it gets nothing but better & better.

Okay, so back to Saturday night, he said I could come over in the morning & we�d spend the day together like we agreed Friday night. He wanted to do his laundry & some grocery shopping first though since he can do it much faster alone. I had no choice but to agree & accept it. Then came the promise that he�d call when he was done, it�s be no later then around noon, early afternoon. So of course I called a little before 2P to check his progress. I was anxious to actually spend a day with him for once. No answer. I held off calling again for almost two hours & still nothing at home. I finally got him on his cell & he just said I�ll call you right back I just got to where I wanted to go. I interrupted and asked if he had finished his stuff when he said no I haven�t even started yet, well laundry is done but I need to go to the store, I�m apartment hunting right now I�ll call you back. I didn�t end up over there until 5P, so much for the day. His famfriend was coming over at 6:15P for us to have a steak dinner & watch a French Film marathon. No subtlitles either cause they were old old movies. I managed through one, thankfully it was one that he had & we�d watched it once so I could follow well enough. I was drunk again & when we went to bed at 10:20P I turned on �The Dead Zone� to finish the episode & afterwards we made love & went to sleep holding one another.

I really don�t know how I feel about the weekend though. I wonder if I should take my mom�s advice & tell him that we should start seeing other people. I love him so damn much but I am so tired of all these broken promises. Help, anyone?

Today�s scopes~ If you're wondering where your people-pleasing, cooperative personality went -- well, wonder no longer. It's just your turn to be assertive. Enjoy it. You know you've been craving it. You might be feeling extra-needy for a little while, so don't be afraid to ask for more attention from your sweetheart. The feeling won't last forever, and you can return the favor later. You love to share, but make sure that someone isn't being a little greedy. Balancing this out is in the best interests for both of you. If there's an amazing result from combining your resources, so much the better. Material possessions may be a source of irritation -- make sure you're not holding onto something that is ultimately not important.

Romantic weekly scope~ You'll be balancing financial and domestic matters this week, but you're good at that, aren't you? You're definitely good enough that you can make time for some romantic opportunities the stars will be sending your way simultaneously. Wednesday and Thursday look lovely for love; express yourself and be ready for a fabulous response. Then Sunday kicks off a couple days of the kind of connection and affection you'll want to clear your calendar for. Any indecision you've been feeling about some matter of the heart falls delightfully away.

10 ways to deal w/ pesty roommates.

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it; leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterward, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''