l Look for the girl with the broken smile. l

| August 11, 2004 || 11:58 a.m. |

Duh, I feel retarded today. I slept again until 8A when I am supposed to be at work. I had planned on going to bed earlier but after going with Tracey to the nail place & being there until almost 730P I got home, turned the computer on & then watched last comic standing. I forgot that I was logged in but when I checked I had received an IM from Suisse. So we ended up chatting until 1130P, I also got to chat with BG on MSN too. We were both so damn tired but she had just started her workday over in Norway. I hope she made it through okay. I hate being at work & feeling like all you want to do is crawl back into bed.

I think my goals for today will be to start taking my photos & personal stuff home. I have so many pictures up everywhere & so much crap here it could pass as my residence. The only pictures I have at home of my family are in my wallet photo book. I don�t think I�ll have tons of room to put all them up at AFCU so I will have a lot more pics at home soon. Another thing I need to remember to do is make an appointment to take my pee test & get my fingerprints taken before the 16th when I start. Gotta love peeing in a cup. Thank goodness for me I quite smoking *** all together a long time ago. I can�t think of anything else I want to do or need to do. I definitely need gas; my tank is flashing all ready.

Hockey news: We�ve lost Huet, Laperriere, Modry. We might also lose Allison, Palffy and a few more. But we are getting some great players & at least Luc Robitaille & my personal favorite Sean Avery are still loyal to LA. I would really like to buy two seats Season Tickets but even with a hundred dollars down & then 3 installment payments I am sure I couldn�t afford it dammit. Now that would be the best birthday present for Suisse. But as expensive as it is it�d have to be both Birthday and Christmas. I think I might call & ask just in case. Perhaps Suisse & I could split the costs for two seats. It�s an idea.

My birthday is getting closer & closer everyday � let the countdown begin on me turning a quarter of a century. I don�t think it will affect me like it did my cousin last year but then again it�s not that close just yet. I�ve all ready begun saying I�m 25 which was odd when it first slipped out but strangely natural too. I don�t care too much about getting older but what does bother me is my goals are approaching really fast now & I am not where I want to be to stay on track. I think working at AFCU will provide the opportunity of growth that I require to get on track with those goals. I certainly hope so. The 18-month itch is fast approaching with Suisse. I�ve heard that us women get antsy about the direction of where the relationship is headed & I have been feeling that for a while now. I doubt he�ll be ready to move in together in one month but perhaps by our two year mark this coming March. I definitely feel my biological clock ticking. This last Saturday night when we were talking about stuff on the way to the theater he said that his ex knows that he will never get married again � I thought about this for a while cause it bothered me a bit, and then I asked him about it. I simply asked �So you�re never going to get married again? I thought you said you wanted kids that�s why I am asking�. Yes, we�ve discussed having kids & names we both liked. He thought for a moment, I could see his eyes light up & he said �huh I didn�t think about that, you�re right. I do & I can�t do something like that alone.� Of course I said, it�s not like you have to be married to have kids, but� ya know.� That is when he decided to change the topic; apparently it was too serious for a right before the movie conversations. I don�t blame him; I just wanted to make him think about not ever getting married again. I think he just said that cause we were in a heated discussion about him emailing with his ex-wife & to enforce the fact that he is not at all, no way in hell going to go back to her, the emailing was just general crap, cordial crap conversation. He wanted to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about. I know I don�t. [/topic]

Okay it�s all most noon, I should do something around here other then fucking around on the computer� comment or something! Or else I will remove the damn tag-board! ;)

Today�s scopes~ You're in the mood to review something in private, without any outside distractions. You might still expect someone you haven't heard from in a long while to make contact soon. Like tonight, for example. Share your latest theories with your sweetie -- it will lead to a good talk about your deepest dreams and wishes. Work together to make them come true.