l Feeling left in shadows l

| September 12, 2004 || 9:55 a.m. |

I've been so horribly bad but what can I say? I've been busy with the mom all weekend. I wish I could say Suisse has been there the whole time but he hasn't. I haven't seen him since Tuesday morning. He promised Friday night when I saw him on MSN [after i got home drunk from dancing] & he promised he'd go Saturday night with us to dinner. I didn't get a hold of him until he finally called me back @ 11P! I went off on him, I had been worried all day & pissed off too. He apologized for not calling during the day as he said he would have but he didn't have his phone on him. of course he didn't, he never does! He swears he doesn't or didn't promise the dinner thing but I have the im convo & he did. He apologized & it did sound sincere. Doesn't help the fact that my mom & her hubby thinks not so highly of him now. All they see when they come into town is him breaking promises to me, never showing up & me ending in tears. Not something I really want my family to think.

Anyways, I've been shopping & hanging out with my mom & that has been the best thing ever. She is all ready looking to buy a bigger house & is thinking about renting out her place. I told her that I want to rent it, the only way I could afford to rent it though is if Suisse did come with me. This isn't something that she is going to be soon so it's just a thought. Of course now she is also wishing she would have kept the townhouse she had here. I told her to just rent it to me & some friends but at first this was before her hubby came into the picture. Things would be so much better had that happened but it didn't and there's not much that can be done now so we just need to move on from that idea.

So from this point on I will be at my branch so I will be able to update more frequently. I am going to jump in the shower now cause I feel slimmy. I went dancing Friday night, sang last night [got drunk both nights] and Suisse told me to call him today after I yelled at him last night on the phone. I am going over there today No questions about that. Today is our 18 month anniversary & we're spending it together dammit. So I better get decent. I smell.