l Finally some work to be done here. l

| September 14, 2004 || 12:50 p.m. |

I hate Monday night football! He said he wasn't sure when he would be home yesterday & I thought I'd just be making a late dinner for us. Well as usual he left his phone in the car & didn't call me until 11P again. He did say that should have called me & he will next time after I calmly told him how worried I had been. I handled it pretty well. I simply explained how I interpreted his statement that morning & how it made me feel when I was given no response. An email, text message or even a phone call would always put my mind at ease. He didn't know for sure if this new every other Monday night football/poker night was on or not until late that afternoon so that was where he had been. Not a problem at all, now I know what to expect every other Monday so I won't worry. He's getting better everyday so at least there is improvement being made.

I have my hands full today here at work. I had the real estate guy prequal me for a home loan so I'd get a credit report in detail from all the three major bureaux and then I started my phone calls. I'm dead serious about cleaning this shit up and there really isn't that much to pay off. In fact if I could only get hold of $1981.00 I could pay it all off right now. I set up one payment plan all ready for one of the two big ones & now I just need to slowly tackle the rest without killing myself financially. I have to be able to survive. I plan on talking to Bill to see if he would work with me a little to help me out. Just a little break between us on the rent. Perhaps he will. Things have been fine there lately. I have no complaints at all so I have no problem staying so long as it continues like this & if he can give me that help or else I might not be able to afford living there and cleaning house. It would be great if I could get it cleaned up & then buy a house in Texas as well as get my MINI. It's be kind of crappy for me to use AFCU to clean stuff up get me my loans etc then leave them for Texas. I don't think I could or would do that but the idea just popped into my lito head.

I bought both pairs of Steve Madden shoes that I've been wanting last night. So bad of me especially now that I am needing to use as much money as I can on my credit crap. I know I shouldn't have bought a white pair but I couldn't resist. Since it's still really hot here I might be able to get away with it for a little while but I did need a pair, hell I can always wear them next summer. Plus this pair was on my wishlist but at this price I had to get them... plus free shipping??? Hell I got a email from them this morning tell me they upgraded my shipping for free to express 2 day & I should get them on Thursday just for being a new customer. Hells yeah! [thought: why am I saying 'hell' so much today? Hmmmm] Now I need to find the perfect pair of natural or brown heels! I just discovered why shoes are offered in different colors... so they go with everything! I typically have all black but with my khakis & lighter work clothes I need more variety. Wow what an epiphany!

Tonight I remembered that I need to go do a trial run with Evan for that Sunday night Casino gig. If he likes me on the mic then I start this coming Sunday & believe you me, I actually thought about not doing it but w/ this credit stuff if I put that $100 bucks in my saving account specifically designated for that then I can do it in no time! Woo Hoo! It would also be a lot of fun doing it too.

What else did I want to write about? I forget now, shit I was on a roll then had to take a breather. Ooh another $$ confession... I also bid & won a down pillow topper for my bed as well as two sets of bed sheets. I'm finally going to try those Modal sheets you two rave about! [J & GE] If I don't like them I'm coming after you both for a refund! just kidding. I am sure they will be heaven especially atop my new down thing! What is my problem with shopping dang! No wonder I can't afford to pay off my credit shit that fast! [laughing] Ooh well. Can someone just block ebay on my computer for me? Or do you think the bank can just ban paypal or that kind of stuff from being successfully charged to my account? There has got to be a way. shoppers anonymous? I'm getting back to work. I also downed an entire bottle of a great cheap shiraz from Trader Joe's while meeting an awesome chick from Tennesee playing Sorry. I'm not an addict, really I'm not.

Today's scope~ Pretend it's your day off and get out there to play -- even if it's technically a school night. Resist the urge to stay inside. You've got lots of socializing to do and not long to get it done. Details, details, details. It may be eating you up, but this is your specialty lately. If you feel like you're treading water with sharks all around, take solace in doing nothing at all. It's important for you to think for yourself and make your own decisions. Just because someone dares you to do something isn't a good enough reason to do it. Consider refusing an invitation to participate in an extreme experience. It may not be harmful, but if it leaves you fundamentally unchanged, what's the point? You have better ways to spend your time. Right now, it would serve you well to do some soul-searching.