l <----- What do you think of the bangs? l

| December 10, 2004 || 4:20 p.m. |

Not again. My beautiful homeland destroyed once again by a fucking oil spill. I don't care if people died; they are ruining my world up there. It's too beautiful to keep getting destroyed like this. All of those idots should be shot if they aren't all ready dead.

Sorry for that rant. I just hate when stuff like that happens to a place so beautiful. I was born there [mind you not really close to Unalaska island], so it will always hold a special place in my heart. I can't believe that I've been away from there since I lost my virginity about 11 years+ ago. That was literally the last time I was in Alaska. I lost my virginity at 14 right after Christmas. I think it was like the 26th or something like that. I forget. Wow, the anniversary of my lost v is coming up quickly. I don't think I've ever really given it much thought before today.

It's been pretty busy today but it's not that bad for a Friday. I am tired but not anything unmanageable. I may even be fine for the party later tonight. Hell as it looks I may even be getting out of not too much later then 5PM, which is great cause that way I can go home & have plenty of time to pick out an outfit & do my hair.

Speaking of hair. Did you all notice my bangs? What do you think? I've been contemplating cutting some for a long time & finally yesterday I had the stylist do it. Nothing drastic, just a little something to give me a little more of a sophisticated look. At least I think it adds a little sophistication. Or does it just make me look younger? Can you believe that the girls I started orientation with last night both though I looked their age? [Which is 18/19] It must be the bangs. I always looked younger with bangs [when I was younger of course]. I look a lot older when my hair is shorter too so there is something with that. Strange, Short hair=older, long one length=my own age yet long with bangs= about 6/7 years younger. It's amazing though what a little change can do for a person. Just by cutting those bangs I feel as if I have a whole new look [which in a way I really do], but it's difficult to really explain how it feels. I guess it's just like how you feel when you get something dramatic done with your hair: major colour change, lots of length removed. It's not a huge amount of hair that has been changed but yet it shapes or gives a completely different shape to my face & in framing me. I guess I've gone & done that trendy thing, bangs. I can't believe they actually hang past my eyebrows & I haven't ripped them out yet. I hate hair in my face which is a huge reason I grew them out to begin with.

My mom had her scans yesterday & we initially were told we had to wait until Monday for the results but now it might be as late as Tuesday. My poor mom has been having so much anxiety from the whole situation she's been prescribed some heavy anti-anxiety meds just to be able to sleep. Thank you all for praying & continuing to keep us in your hearts & minds. I appreciate it more then I can even begin to express.

[edit @ 5:06PM] Doesn't look like I am getting out of until around 6. So much for having plenty of time! My brother [that works here at the same company] isn't even attending the Christmas party tonight. I think he is afraid of being embarrassed by me in some way. I am so not as conservative as he is & it's so obvious we have different views on everything. Consider this: he went with my high school to a taping of The Leeza Show, we both stood up in the audience to talk. I was completely pissed off at the guy & my brother had stood up to defend the guy. It was a show on small businesses & them having the right to discriminate in their hiring of gay & lesbian employees. I was so pissed at this small-minded, arrogant prick that my comment [heard across the nation] did not even make a lick of sense. I don't think my brother's comment made it on air, but both times I've been on the TV [Leeza Show], both of my comments were on TV [at least the great one was used for a commercial promo as well]. It's just a shame that that one time I looked like a fool. I have the good one on tape, but mysteriously the tape that held my public, nation embarrassment disappeared. Hmmm. I wonder what happened to that...

I should really put all my appearances on one DVD, that would save a lot of storage room & be a lot easier for me to embarrass my own self by uploading it on the computer to share with you all! Wouldn't you love to laugh at me? I know I can put the clip of me at my cousin's wedding falling flat on my ass to catch the bouquet here. I have it somewhere. Ahhh that was priceless. I caught it that is all that matters. Two weddings in two years & caught two bouquets. It was a landslide, no pun intended; it's just both times I was the only one that went in the direction of the bouquet. But that could be just the bride's not tossing like or well tossing like girls. I know my cousin was a softball player but tossing something while drunk behind your back... she just tossed too far up rather then back so I had to run & slide onto my ass to get it. I swear I don't think I would have made it had I not slid. Okay, I am making excuses now. I need to finish these damn things up so I can get out of here.

xoxoxoxoxoxo, Angel [ended at 5:32PM]