l One day left of waiting, i hope l

| December 12, 2004 || 2:15 p.m. |

We got the results back on Friday about her scans. The good news is her lungs are fine, however, there is a spot in her left armpit that looks like it may be malignant, a spot of her shoulder/neck & either on one of her ribs or chest wall [they can't tell which]. I don't think it was that great of news for my mom. She's been crying & laying on the couch sleeping all weekend long. She's afraid of losing her hair all over again right when she is able to put it in a ponytail finally. This time around it is hitting her a lot harder.

It's really difficult to be here to watch it this time. She has her biopsy tomorrow to see if it is malignant. I don't know for sure if they are doing a biopsy on all 3 spots, I think she said something about one spot being difficult to biopsy but I don't know.

Thank you all for your prayers & comments. It means a lot to me & my family. I worked at X today. Actually it was just cashier training but still I had to be there at 9AM. I don't like having to be awake that early on weekends but I guess I will have to get used to that now.

Friday night was my x-mas party as I said before. They issued everyone 2 drink tickets [for the alcohol], but I managed to finnagle a ton more plus a bottle of the red wine after the party was over. Damn I got drunk, we even went to some bar afterwards to drink more. I couldn't even tell you the name of the bar at that point. There was a band that wasn't that bad. We danced our asses off, me in my crocodile Steve Maddens with the mad high steel heel. I talked to S while I was at the party. Then of course I said I'd call him later [ahem 10 times later], but he must have been asleep or out cause I got nada. It's okay I didn't really need to talk to him, I just always call him a lot & want to talk to him when I am drunk. What is it with us girls? Why do we torture ourselves & look like idots? I guess I will never know.

I think I woke up with a horrible hang over around 12 & my mom wanted me to go with her to see a movie that started 30 minutes later. Of course I did. Ocean's twelve. I think it was better then the first one but my mom didn't really understand it so she likes the first one best. It's a confusing movie right up until the last scene. You really have to think about everything to figure it out, but I like that kind of stuff.

How funny is this? My horoscope for Saturday~ You're probably just now recovering from an emotional outburst -- and whether you were on the giving or receiving end doesn't matter. Don't allow yourself to be scarred by the experience -- and if you have to speak up again, go for it.