l Ode to strong women l

| December 14, 2004 || 2:02 p.m. |

My mom is & always has been my best friend. I have the best family anyone could ever wish for. I know I've been mean to in her my adolescent years, which I do feel terribly about, however, there is nothing on this earth that could change the relationship we have today. I thank god for blessing me with such a wonderful family, I only wish that so many others could experience all the love that I have felt my entire life. I am so glad that god brought me here, yet it wasn't nice to hear my mom say that "god brought everyone here so I could die". She is not going to die, not yet, not now, not for years to come, Dammit!

So I put a ton of messages out to find one or two room mates to take care of the mortgage at my mom's current house. I figure to help out it would be easier for me to just find someone [or two peoples] to share the rent & utilities with me. I think it would be much more comfortable for me to stay there as well. I would have the master bedroom & the lovely huge whirlpool garden tub & walk in closet. I don't have the furniture to furnish it, but that will come in time. I don't care if I have to bring in the patio chairs to use I will make this happen so my mom can have her dream home & not have to worry about the 2nd mortgage.

Thank you for all the wonderful words, prayers, comments etc. I am deeply moved by all of your love & support. It's unfortunate that all of this had to happen right before the Holidays, but the women in my family have all been so incredibly strong & proving to the rest of the world that we don't give a shit what you say, we will do what we want & get everything we deserve. That goes as far back as my Grandma's mom back in the early 20's when she was put on a train to go see some family members. She said to hell with that, I want to see my boyfriend. So she hoped the train, yes, literally jumped off a moving train & ran off to see her boyfriend, whom ended up being my Grandma's Dad. I've said it before & I will say it until the day I die. I have one amazing family. There have been more women [on my Mom's side], in the military then the men. Yes I also have one lesbian cousin [well my mom's 1st cousin] & she is a veterinarian in Arizona or New Mexico, I forget which.

Anyways, I've had a ton of support from all of you & especially one person in particular whom I won't mention, yet you [if you are still sneaking a read], know who you are! I could not feel more loved then I do right now. I will do my best to make your Xmas [both of ours really], wish come true soon, Thank you.

Today's scopes~ The forces at work *** Valid during many months: During this time you will have to withstand severe challenges to your way of life as it is set up now. As we grow up, we structure our lives to a certain degree, and we come to depend upon this structure for predictability and order. Sometimes, however, the structure is repressive rather than expressive of our true selves. But if it is safe, we tend to keep it regardless of whether we are happy with it. Nevertheless, at some point in our lives the internal energies of this arrangement of our world must evolve or be totally destroyed. Now is such a time in your life. You must adapt to the forces at work during this period for your own sake! You may feel like the victim of some massive external force beyond your control that is forcing you to move, but actually the dynamics for change are inherent in your own life structure.

During this time some circumstance or situation will create forces that seem to push against you. You may feel very pressured to do something that you don't want to do at all, and you will probably put up tremendous resistance. If your life structure is a valid expression of who you are, your efforts to resist will probably be successful. Otherwise you will be forced to change. In either case this period will be characterized by enormous expenditure of energy. If you handle it successfully, you will be able to strive forward and reach new heights as an individual.

As this influence begins, you may find that certain resources � financial, material or otherwise � are no longer available and that you are forced more and more to fall back upon your own devices. This is part of the test of this time. It is not usually a good time to expand your operations in any field of activity, especially business. Nor is it a good time to spend your energies making everything around you as solid and safe as possible. The best course, which you will be least inclined to take, is to openly and honestly examine all aspects of your life and voluntarily give up whatever you don't really need � those things that make you feel secure but do not aid your personal evolution.