l No wonder I haven't dated women in years! l

| January 11, 2005 || 12:49 p.m. |

Now I know what guys mean when they say they are sick of their gf's playing games! We women [not all just this one & a few others] are so damn manipulative, insensitive, jealous, selfish & childish. It's pathetic really. I try & bend over backwards but nothing I do seems to be right & I swear nothing I write in text message or email every seems to really be read in its entirety, only the few select parts she wishes to read. I am so tired of giving & not getting anything in return. Even for just a fucking friendship! She flipped out last night when my best friend, LBG called while on her way to work & I asked if I could call her back [shannyn not LBG]. My LBG only gets an hour of free time on her way to work where she can call me. My LBG is my girl! She is more important to me then any newbie. I never get to see her since I am here now & rarely do I even get to talk to her so of course I am going ask if I can call shannyn back. But I was surprised [don't know why really] to hear her snap, fine, and then hang up only to not pick up the phone later on. Hell I even tried texting her only to get sarcastic messages back that no sense what so ever... fucking game playing. When I asked, "Are you going to pick up the phone & talk to me?" she responded "awesome, great, have a great night!" I wash my hands clean, I don't need that immature bullshit. I don't care if I don't have any friends here; I'd rather have none at all then fucked up ones that play retarded games.

Sorry, I needed to vent. I was frustrated all day Sunday dealing with her bullshit text messages. If anyone else expects me to have a fucking conversation via text messages then they have another thing coming, you either suck up your integrity & fucking call. I had to deal with doing everything on someone else's terms for nearly two years & I am not doing that shit again!

Again, more venting, I apologize. On the brighter side of things, something far better is going on! Suisse had his ticket, hotel accommodations & is going to be here in 10 days!!! I am so excited about that, I could really careless about shannyn, so I don't know why I am letting it get to me so much. I'm meeting so many other people; I guess I just get attached to the first ones to come along easily. Well no more! I am going out, having a fucking life & making more & better friends, less selfish, carefree, non-drama friends.

I work tonight, blah, but it's money that I need to get my own place & new furniture. I still have to call & find someone to replace me Friday night. Tomorrow night though I am going out! A new person to try karaoke with, a new friend. See? See how easy it is?

Today's scope~An overall plan This influence signifies a great opportunity to know yourself through your relationship with and effect upon your environment. You are highly disciplined and able to channel all your energies toward any objective you wish to attain. There is a close relationship between who you are and what you do. So take this opportunity to examine your life and the structures you have built into it. Today you can organize and make an overall plan for the way you would like to order your affairs and then arrange them accordingly. Because you work very thoroughly and meticulously under this influence, your efforts will achieve lasting results. This is also a good time to undertake any intellectual discipline or technique that requires concentration and attention to detail.