l Maniacal Monday & 4 days left! l

| January 17, 2005 || 11:20 a.m. |

Ooh wow, I drank way too much Friday night. I don't do yager, not at all & now I know why. I had 2 yager bombs, 2 or 3 red headed sluts & I don't even remember how many beers & that was just at City Streets! I think I did two more yager bombs back at the house & had another one or two beers while drunkenly reading my online poetry. Damn I could even tell I was drunk just by my slurring alone, that was frustrating. I tripped a few times too so I have a huge bruise on the outside of my left thigh, my elbow & my upper arm. I don't even really remember how. That's scary, but I'm okay & that's all that matters.

My Dad had come in as I mentioned before, Friday night, so I went over to my brother's before going out to spend a little time with them. Poor Koley Kole [nephew] got freaked out by my Dad when he was playing around & tried to scoop him up, he freaked out so much that he ran into the kitchen red faced & screaming & hid under the table! It was the most precious thing but so sad for him. Perhaps he was just really tired but he didn't stop crying until they laid him down for bed. Poor little boy.

I was supposed to work Saturday but ended up calling out 45 minutes before my shift was to start. My mom's hair started to fall out the day before, so while I was still sleeping they went to the wig store to get a couple wigs that matched her hair as best as they could, had to do it while her hair is still there for the most part. That was the one thing she had hoped wouldn't happen this time around. Her hair was the one part that really kept her feeling normal, as if she wasn't really sick. The doctor's had said that with this type of chemo she may or may not lose her hair, some people do & some don't. We really hoped she would be one of the exceptions, but I guess not. I couldn't go to work after seeing her break down like that. They were pissed off at first but I told them that I just would not leave her right now & then they understood. I didn't want to use that card but I kind of had to.

Because I stayed home that meant I was also able to meet with the rest of the family & my brother's friends for his birthday celebration dinner at the Buffalo wings place. I don't really like sports bars, especially when they make you wait an hour for food & then get the bills totally fucked up. It's bad enough there is football playing on 6 different large screen TVs, volume at it's max & crazy drunks screaming everywhere... you just can't visit with anyone in that kind of environment. So yeah, the best part was playing with Kole. He couldn't get enough of the car game; he even learned how to ask for money [cupping his hand saying money], once he realized it ran off of quarters! Vroom vroom! As he tried steering the car, he did get 2nd on one race but 9th & 10th every other time. Okay so I was pressing the gas peddle for him but he's only 20 months so he can't reach that far!

I was supposed to go bowling that night or something but I was so completely exhausted I left my brother's house early [before 9pm] & passed out around 10pm sleeping until 10:30am the next morning. I did not really wake up at all. I was just so exhausted physically. I really hope I am not getting sick or anything. I can't get sick, Suisse will be here Friday night & I have to be completely tip top shape so I can be a good tour guide. I can't wait... only 4 more days left after today.

I work at both jobs today, I have to be at Xpress by 6 which is going to be so difficult seeing how on Mondays I rarely get out of here by that time, but I have to. I guess that's the only day I work this week too which is really nice. I am going to get my hair done sometime this week too. I am thinking of going Dark Chocolate with some blonde highlights. I think I want to be darker but still keep some highlights, I think I look pretty good with the blonde in my hair, I'm just tired of being referred to as a red head. I haven't dyed my hair red in a long time but it always seems to look redder for some reason. I think I also need to schedule a spa night, a nice massage and/or facial.

Today's Scope~ Trivial pursuits Today, you are inclined to use your mind for leisure pursuits, such as reading for amusement, going to an art exhibit or concert or chatting with friends. Even though these activities seem somewhat trivial, they are an important part of your life, because they give you a chance to rest between heavier concerns. Do not hesitate to take the day off if you can, and simply relax and enjoy it. This influence is important in another way, for it puts you in touch with your feelings, especially those of love and friendship. It is important to know that these feelings are present in your life. In other words, even though days like today do not seem very significant, these are times that justify all the other more difficult ones. That is why they are important.