l TGi Thursday! l

| July 28, 2005 || 12:48 p.m. |

The BEST Headline I've seen in a while!

Your birth month

Pick your birth month and cross (strike) out what doesn't apply to you. To strike out you use the S tag. So for the cross out you would surround the "strike out" with strike out . Then post the whole list for the next person or link back to here.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

I don't feel like working tonight but what's new? I'm starving. really starving. I haven't been too hungry lately which is odd but good. I feel like I'm starting to lose weight. It all could be the stress from the past month helping me lose my appetite. I'm sure it is. When I get sick with stress I tend to throw up [which I haven't been doing] anything I eat that is when I can eat. I drink & smoke a whole hell of a lot more as well so I guess it's like the supermodel diet. I have been eating though so no worrying about me. I really could be happy losing around 10 lbs. I'd be very happy being back at 30 rather then just on the edge of 40. [130 not 30 lbs].

Just in case you missed my brief entry from last night everything is back to fine. Suisse called me and we talked for about an hour. It was really late for me and being that I didn't get much sleep the night before I was exhausted. But he told he that he loves me, he doesn't want to lose me and he misses me like crazy. He's just got his weird way of dealing with things. It's a lot like the lyrics from Devils & Dust by Bruce Springsteen [you can even hear the song if you click the link].

"I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust"

The way he survives without me being right there with him is to keep busy. He is not good with stress and all that stuff. But what the way he survives was hurting us. Love really takes a lot of work, hard work. But we will both work at what we both want and that is us. a life, a future together.

I think I found the place I'm going to move to. It's the one apartment complex that I've had my eye on for quite some time. It's right across from my dream apartment but this on is affordable. Get this... it's walking distance from the movie theater and lots of nice restaurants.. hehehe. I can lose a lot of money that way huh? Nah. The only thing is to get it at a rate of 490/mo. I need to sign a 12 month lease. Now I know what you're thinking, what about your plan to move to CA after New Years? Well considering my Mom's situation I am not going to do that, I'm not going to move until she is back in remission or... well I don't want to write what the or is. I just don't feel like it's right to leave yet. Now that does mean that we'll be doing the long distance thing for a while longer but we'll just take that as it comes, day by day. Now just because I am signing a 12 month lease doesn't necessarily mean I have to stay the entire lease, they always have a buy out option and if it comes right down to it I know Suisse will take care of that. He's all ready offered before as well as to take care of all my moving expenses - he'd be the one to come out and get me. My Knight in Swiss cheese armour.

I know my limits and I know my faults. I know what he can take and does not put up with. My pushing is one of them. If there was an award for being a pushy girlfriend I would take the cake. I hate that part about me but "C'est la me"! LOL Sorry it's actually "C'est moi" but that didn't rhyme.

Now it's off to lunch with my beloved Miss B.