l She's semi-ok for now l

| September 09, 2005 || 10:56 a.m. |

The priest read her her last rites. She seemed a lot more calm after that. My older brother broke the news to his 5 yr. old daughter Shelby that Grandma was dying and what that meant. She did not take that very well. My Mom talked and tried to explain things to her but with her condition she doesn't have much patience for the kids lately.

That was the first time I'd seen my older brother cry. The tough guy standing there arms folded with this sun glasses on trying to turn his back around so no one would notice. I pulled him up to me and gave him a big hug.

Steve, our family friend painted my Mom a large Oak tree in her spare bedroom, it's her very own hat-tree. He even painted a little heart with an arrow through it and their initials as if they were carved right in ab + cb. It's so adorable.

I really don't know what's happening now. She said her good-bye's and now they took her to the hospice nursing home [hospital thing] in an ambulance this morning because she has not had a bm in over a week. Nothing they've been giving her has worked and now it's all about taking ex-rays and seeing what options we have before something extreme happens like a rupture which would surely kill her.

My Uncle [great] was there last night. The man hangs with the friggin pres*dent of the fucking USofA and he was there with us last night drinking beers and talking about shits and giggles.

He's such a wonderful man despite who he hangs out with *wink*. He's willing to take care of whatever expenses he can take over for us and for all of that love our entire family [even extended] has for one another I am forever grateful.

I need to get this shit done here at work so I can leave at 1pm and go to the hospital to be with my family.

Tonight I am partying like a rockstar. I don't care. I am drinking, smoking, getting all shades of something fucked up. I need to do this. Forgive me for I am going to sin.