l a night of near perfection l

| September 21, 2005 || 2:24 p.m. |

Imagine finally finding your favorite chinese dish at a restaurant that is owned by your original favorite company at a cheaper price then you go 30 minutes out of the way to pick up that tasty dish you've been craving. You are also eagerly anticipating watching your Tuesday night shows including the Season 90-minutes premiere of Nip/Tuck only to get home just in time to start channel flipping to find that damn FX Channel... only to discover that I don't have the flippin channel!!! Now if that is not a run on sentence I don't know what is. Pardon moi as my brain is dead.

I came across the poem my Mom wrote to me back in my days of Milwaukee. The shoe still fits even though it may cause many rivers of tears.

Hello there my little young one, and how are you today? I thought I heard you calling, what pearls have you to say?
You know I wish you happiness, tho you're so far away.
No matter the miles between us, locked in my heart you'll stay.

The matinees, the drinks at bars, all memories to preserve.
No matter how my heart pines, the growth you do deserve.
I'll treasure girly talks, the lengthy walks, and dear they shall remain..Until such time as you're back in town and return to home again.

I love you more than words can say or poems can e'er express...
you're my one, my only daughter, friend and true princess.
Know that I'm a call away and will keep the cell phone on...
Go freely, face your destiny, and greet each crisp new dawn.

She's slipping more into that land of forever slumber. Each new day brings a few less moments of sharing but not one ounce less of love and caring.

I stood by her side watching her angelic face stare into the stagnant air and spoke to her directly from my heart.

Momma, I want you to know how much I love you. I love you more then I can even comprehend. Everything is going to be okay; I'll be okay, you can let go whenever you're ready. We're all ready, as ready as we can be for you to be at peace. There's no reason to keep fighting; you're so strong, so amazingly strong and incredibly stubborn. There's nothing else that needs to be done, it's okay. You can go up into the heavens and watch over us.

As much as I will miss you, miss our talks, walks, shopping sprees and pedicures... I will continue to do all those things knowing that you are right here with me, here in my heart, watching over me. Everything that we wanted to do, planned to do will still be done. I will still have babies and name them as we had discussed. I will still walk down that aisle, someday, someday I will do it all and I will do it all with you by my side.

She never responded to anything but I know she heard every single word. I cried, kissed her fuzzy bald head, cheeks and mouth.

She had said very few words to me last night. The first thing she said, to both me and my older brother was "how'd you know where to find me?" I simply told her that she was easy to find and I would always know exactly where to find her. It's true. She will always be right here with me.

It should be anyday now and I will be 26 in 29 days.