l I know it's late l

| October 04, 2005 || 9:16 p.m. |

I don't know what to say really. I got busy at work today and managed to finally called the satellite company so I can watch NipTuck tonight, so far so good.

I still haven't had my "talk" about the showroom position but I am very anxious about what or how that will go.

I miss her. I missed her a lot tonight. I've been talking to her as well... is that weird? I actually talk outloud directly to her. I know how she'd answer so I don't know if I'd say I respond to her but as to how I know she would answer. Am I losing it?

I'm quitting smoking. I didn't mention that before but I am. Perhaps not so much tonight but I am going to.

I want to make a phone call that I really shouldn't make right now. Geeesus why am I so pathetically in love with someone that is not in love with me equally.

That's enough. I really can't think to write anymore for tonight. I am looking into a great culinary arts college that is in Dallas so I don't have to move anywhere. That is what my grandparents want at least. They would prefer to keep me close.