l Stop worrying about me, I'm still alive l

| May 26, 2006 || 5:27 p.m. |

I really wish I could update you all telepathically cause seriously even with a laptop I just cannot seem to sit down long enough to type anything whether it's at work or at home.

Remember Beerguy? Remember how I said he's been telling me how much he likes me & yada yada yada - all the stuff that I don't want - ya know, serious!! Well we've been spending a TON of time together lately... nearly every night with Wednesday as the only exception. We are going to see X men 3 tonight. I like the movies but he was into the comics so it'll be nice going out.

I got my puppy!! Please meet the newest addition to the Sellars family: Miss Brooklyn!

Born on April 3rd she will be 8 weeks old next week. She is the most precious thing ever!! I have a doggie purse for her and everything. So far the cats are not too keen on her. Well Dodge hisses but he hisses at everything/one & Opers, well she tried to get a close look and the little girl started growling at her!! Wrong one Miss Brooklyn, the black one is the meanie!

I had my nephew for the night a week ago, that gave my brother & his wife a night to go out to dinner and a movie - Shelby was at a slumber party. I talked my G into bringing over some toys - I have to start accumulating a little toy chest so I have entertainment for the youngins. I do really want to start having them over and spending more time with my family.

I think I might be starting to gain a bit more perspective on what and where my life is going. I think I've been in a transition for a while now and things are starting to not only fall into place cause most things have all ready done that. Perhaps what I really mean to say is the emotional, mental things are starting to fall into place. The house, the job, everything came together at the right time and now the emotional healing has taken it's time. Although I'm not saying that I'm ready to dive in to any relationship but I've come to terms with things and am or have moved on. I'm able to be friends w/ Suisse, that's what I am trying to say. We've started playing scrabble again & I also found out why or what was really going on back in January. He met someone and started dating her. He wasn't going hiking w/ Bill, he was going hiking w/ her. She broke up w/ him though a while back so it didn't last. Apparently she didn't see them together in the "long run" and she didn't want to get him or her daughter attached to something she didn't see lasting. I was initially upset to learn this. Hell I learned he had a gf before I went out to CA last April (she broke up w/ him after I left) which is why I didn't want to see him. I wasn't ready to be friends at that point. I was still kind of hurting and vulnerable. He did want to see me but like myself he agreed that neither one of us would have been ready.

I still love him, that will never change but things just weren't meant and I can finally accept that. Perhaps the future will change things but I am not counting on anything. I'm ready to just live my life and be happy. I am very happy right now. I have friends, my family and a job that I continue to be very happy with.

I don't know what else, if anything, has happened aside from the pup, the boy & the suisse.

Okay more about the beerboy. He's been separated for almost 4 months, has three kids, oldest being an 8 yr old cheerleader. A lot of my friends really like him for me. He's considerate, thoughtful - hell he just bought me a sweetass digcam - nikon coolpix S5 or something like that. This past weekend the Hotties were at his bands all day bbq thing (if you're on myspace I'm sure you've seen my bulletins pimpin it out), I got wasted, I mean really wasted, my wifey took my keys and stuff and as soon as they set them down I told him that she was driving me home & her that he was driving me home & I took off when they weren't looking. I'm a sneaky stubborn drunk and I know that is something I really need to stop but anyways, the point of the story is they both called me 20 times each, text messaged me a zillion and one times and he was very concerned and worried about me getting home okay. I did get home just fine but somehow I must have jumped a curb or something because two of my rims (on my passenger side) were bent - one was bent enough to deflate my tire and not allow the seal to hold any air. I was too sick the next day that I never once moved my car so on my lunch break Monday I realized that it was flat & the rim was bent. I had been texting w/ him all day and he asked if I was okay, on the side of the road or at work. Then he called a friend of his that came to my work, took my car & got them fixed w/out me having to spend a dime. I guess the guy got a hook up at the tire place & they just punch them back out or whatever. He couldn't have left work cause he was the only one there but he would have and the is the point.

I invited him over Sunday night so chill & he watched my shows w/ me. I even made him endure Desperate Housewives!! Tuesday night my roommate and I decided to invite him over for dinner. We picked up shrimp, strawberries (for shortcake) and he bbq'd the marinated chicken and shrimp on my new grill *well a couple months old but I have never used it until that night*, I made some pretty damn good red potatoes too. I do really like him, more then I really want to & I'm very skeptical mostly because he is in a HUGE band (huge in the DFW) and very popular with the ladies. He has moved me up to #2 on his top 8 (his bands myspace is #1). One thing I really like though is he respects me. I had told him a while back (when we first met) that I didn't have sex. Truth is I was sleeping w/ Conun and I can't sleep w/ two guys or didn't/don't want to. Anyhow, he spent the night & we made out - of course he wanted to but I lightly brushed his hand away from going somewhere and he said "too fast?" when I said yes he said that was fine & didn't try again. He had told me that if he wanted sex he could get it anytime & he didn't want me to think that is what he wanted, he was/is fine w/ that. Part of that statement is what makes me skeptical & I'm sure you can figure out why pretty easily.

I'm not saying I'm smitten, I am not saying anything really just typing. I've been meaning to update for about 5 days, it's just been way too busy around here - not to mention my time spent at home.

I best get to cleaning this showroom up, I want to run out those doors as soon as it hits 6pm.