l Horoscope Accuracy~ l

| June 09, 2006 || 5:18 p.m. |

If this person's so perfect, how come you're not crazy about them? A boss, new acquaintance or date has all the right credentials, but something about them just seems slightly off to you. Trust your gut.

Umm... so that was right on point. Beerguy is so over for me. I still haven't actually told him this little tidbit but if it's not clear by my actions I will have to break it down to him this weekend.

For those whom I haven't told my little secret too - I've been sleeping w/ someone else. My little crush. So far it's been twice but considering the fact that I haven't even slept w/ my own supposed "boyfriend" even once is pretty damn bad. When it's wrong, it's just wrong. I can't help myself. I had this problem when I was 18 dating that 28 yr old receding hair-line, still living at home, unemployed, emotionally abusive asshole. Rather then face the issue or take a stand for myself I go seeking affections in the arms of someone else. Back then I would actually come home to go to bed w/ him right after having had sex w/ another guy. What's worse is most of the time he'd want sex - I always gave in to him but that was just the emotional/mental hold he had over me.

One thing that I do miss - comfortable sex. The kind of sex that Suisse and I had. We were so comfortable and used to one another that we had so shame. We weren't embarrassed to talk to one another during or about what we wanted to do or try w/ one another. I guess that's something that I can have w/ anyone once we've been together for a while and reach that point but it came so naturally to us.

The youngin has stamina - I guess that comes w/ the age but he's very young and unexperienced w/ the non vanilla. I guess that's the best way to describe it. There is a nice piercing included in the package as well. I actually can feel that when we're fucking and it's nice, very nice.

Tonight I've decided to have a girl's night at home. My Derby girl Hallow's Eve is coming to meet me at work & we'll spend the night watching movies & drink either beer or wine. She's such a sweetheart and really helped inspire me to come up w/ my official derby name. She recently had to step down as a skater. As of our last bout at Forum Roller World on the 4th, she is no longer a High Seas Hottie. The company she works for is also supposed to be moving her to Italy, all expenses paid. Unfortunately though that was not the reason she left derby early. Her shoulder was injured at the May bout vs. the Slaughterers and she wouldn't have been able to skate for a while anyways. She has one of the biggest hearts that I know and I am very sad to see her leave not only the team but someday soon, the country.

I was hoping to be able to introduce her to the company next door that we drink w/ on Fridays but I guess we're not drinking tonight. Ooh Poo. That's okay, we can just go to my house, order pizza and have a fun girls only night.

Gotta clean up the showroom now so I can get the hell out of here at 6pm! mwahz!