l A lot's gone on since then l

| June 12, 2008 || 12:08 a.m. |

Hello folks, Don't even know how many of you even check by here anymore to see if I update but I'm here to write some stuff.

Newest developments in my life - We got moved back into the townhouse, his sister is now renting a room in the house that I own but haven't slept at in over 4 months. I honestly feel like a stranger in my own home. My dog, Brooklyn, is back here at the townhouse with me now so at least I am not feeling like such a neglectful parent. Apparently Coolhand's car insurance needs a copy of our marriage certificate(?). We told them we lived together and were engaged to get him a discount but they just recently called saying that they need a copy of our marriage license... not sure what to say or do about that one. Although all my friends have been asking why we don't just get married anyways. I don't know what to think. I was about to bring up seeing if I can just add my car to his insurance so we get the multiple car discount but then he brought that marriage thing up. Is that something he wants to do? I don't know. Is that something I want to do? Eventually. But now? I don't know. For all intents and purposes we live together and have been inseparable for about 6 months now which apparently in texas is what is considered common law married. If you live together for 6 months, have anything joint together or whatever you can be considered common law married. Shit in Cali it's like 7 years right? What the fuck is up with the 6 months bullshit that texas has going on? how many times have you been with a dumbshit boyfriend for at least 6 months before you realized he was a loser? Ummm... many times. The worst part about this texas common law shit is it's a no fault or whatever state so no matter what you have going into the relationship, if you split, you have to split everything no matter whose name it's in. So technically I could lose my house if he moved in and we lived together and got common law married and if for some reason we parted ways... kind of fucked up and retarded huh? that's what I think but whatever.

Don't get me wrong, I've thought about it. He'd get insurance through my job if we got married and there wouldn't been many setbacks to it other then we'd be married. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I love him, I'd love to spend the rest of my life with him but whose to say that this is the right thing to do or even the right time? Could we just get common lawed and not tell anyone? I mean just do the benefits etc and not tell our families til we were ready to do something "official"? That's something that I had considered doing with Milwaukee remember? Get married and not tell anyone for a year & then actually have a real wedding. But look how that turned out. I got pregnant and all the shit hit the fan and went sour after that. Thank goodness I freaked out about the marriage thing after I got pregnant or I would have been divorced all ready and a single mom to boot. I love the life that I have right now and I wouldn't even be right where I'm at and with him if I had don't anything differently.

Fuck. I'm just rambling now but that's what this page is for right? Rambling? Blogging? (I still think that word sounds more like something you'd do in a bathroom). I love him. I'm over wanting things to get right or work with Suisse. Coolhand and I are the same person thru and thru. We understand one another and get each other no matter what. We don't argue, we even admit when we have acted retarded with one another to one another. Like the other night. He confessed to not only going thru my phone but going thru my entire phone, meaning he saw all the pics that Suisse has sent me of his gf and of ummmm... "him". hahahaha I went thru his phone the other night when I sort of semi caught him lying to me. Well he doesn't remember saying anything or the actual conversation because he had been drinking but regardless, he lied about something and I told him if he ever did it again I'd lose all trust that I had in him and he'd lose me. He'll never do it again no matter what. We've had a few issues but nothing major and nothing that we haven't been able to be adult about and work thru. I love him and he loves me. plain. simple. true. honest. for better and for worse. at least so far and it's been how long now? Neither one of us knows. At least I've been exclusive since sometime in November, that I remember. Do ya'll? I know I wasn't updated a lot back then but I don't remember.

That's kind of shitty that we don't have an actual anniversary day or date but we started seeing each other sometime originally around the end of July (or so I think). Fuck. It's just been a long ass time and I haven't been with anyone this long since you-know-who. Okay. enough ranting for one night. apparently a friend of his is stopping by for a while. Fun times. love ya'll. I'll try to be better about writing more often.