l too many thoughts that I never remember to post... l

| December 05, 2011 || 3:34 p.m. |

Romance is delightful, but you need to take care of more than that today. See if you can get your partner (or date, or crush, or hopes) to take a back seat to your other ambitions for now.

Ha-ha! Ya that�s kind of what I�ve been doing lately, geez I love horoscopes and they really always seem to love me.

Anyways, back to reality. I should have already submitted my e-mail to my property management company to inform them of the recent changes at my work in the case that I won�t be able to afford to live here anymore but I haven�t. I promised TxMan that I was going to do that on the first of December but I just dropped off my rent check and to be honest� I�m still hesitant to do so.

My dear friend sexyatheist told me that I should enjoy this time and I agree with her but there�s a strong argument that financially it just might be time to cut my losses, move back and begin the �adult� chapter of my life. Adult meaning, move-in with my Fiance and begin living as a married couple before we actually get married.

I�ve lived with boyfriends and a girlfriend before, none of which scares me but this is different. We are getting married. Date=set. Wedding Coordinator is partially paid for and TxMan has mentioned that we might need to cancel that because it is pretty expensive. That also goes into the whole �feeling manipulated� part of everything though. Is he �threatening� that we need to cancel because with me living in Seattle and paying rent/bills etc is too much or is it a ploy to get me to move back so we don�t have to cancel the wedding coordinator?? Am I being paranoid about being manipulated? Or is he trying to? Of course he says he is not, it is just a financial concern that he has but why can�t I shake that feeling? Is this what cold feet feel like?

Ugh, I�ll write more tonight. I need to focus on work.