l In touch with the ground I'm on the hunt I'm after you l

| Friday, Dec. 27, 2002 || 6:10 p.m. |

I have been anxious to write this all day long... Part of my horoscope for yesterday was~As hard as you may try, it is going to be nearly impossible for you to do anything today without feeling incredibly emotional, dear Libra. Just about everything you do or encounter will be charged with feelings in some way. Try your best to remain levelheaded and rational. You may feel a strong need to overindulge in food or drink in order to escape your present reality. Resist this temptation and deal with your emotions head-on

It is so ironic how it applies to what happened!

Milwaukee called me! I was sitting at my cluttered desk furiously finishing up my work for the day when I felt a vibration at my back... my phone was in my jacket pocket which was neatly folded supporting my lower back... I half expected it to be the Romantic since he had called only an hour before or the Jumper I met on Monday but when I glanced down to the caller id it read his name... my heart suddenly dropped, hands began to shake & my body just broke into a feverish sweat... I had to answer. I think I sounded a lil timid when I answered or maybe unsure of whom was on the other end so he said hello, it is me, Milwaukee... All I could manage was uuh hi yeah I know...

Well I was just about to leave so I spoke with him a few moments then asked if he could call back in 5... he did ~ exactily 5 minutes later as I was gathering my belongings to go. We spoke of lil nothings, the holidays, his friends & mine... the money thing... I told him about the situation with my Webmaster and our business plans... I could have sworn I heard him say I miss you, but I was on my cell & so was he and at times he sounded as if he were only whispering... I was too nervous to ask for repetition; too scared that what I had heard wasn't true. It felt so natural to carry on a conversation, as if we had been speaking all along... the warmth of the love we once shared came washing over me & I ached even more than before to be near him once again.

Ooh the heartache! He is indeed going on tour again, this time for a year... my hopes of him coming out this way was squashed like a bug on my newly cleaned windshield. The entire year long tour will be taking place all over the East coast & Canada!

I went out with GB again last night, mostly to see the bartender & try to get my mind/heart off of Milwaukee. He was working the downstairs bar, which was really slow so I just sat there talking to him all night long. He is such a lil flirt but not so much like the typical california-born guy. He is very intelligent, sweet & honest. He confessed to having a gf & we both laughed at the tipping incident last saturday. He said that he was being bad & really should not have had so much 'fun' but neither one of us was sorry about it & admitted to enjoying the evening regardless. Although a part of me respects the fact that he admitted his bad deed but another sees that as a slip in his faith towards his gf. Mind you the rest of the night was filled with innocent flirting & getting to know one another, he seems really genuine. We are barely a year apart in age (his b-day was that last friday) and he knows that he is not in the right place in his life to really be in a relationship, just rather have someone fun to hang out with and know is there to have sleep overs etc... I understand completely & see that as a sign that his current relationship might not last... (I can't believe she is only 18 - funny) But he never once asked for my number or made a move so that shows some values/morals/respect on his part... I for one would never take part in any of it even if he were to try something... I refuse to be the other woman! I will not settle to be 2nd nor do I deserve to be! lol

Just listen to this part of yesterdays horoscope...

You will have to talk your way into gaining the attention of a certain person, the thought of whom keeps you awake at night. Not only that, you will have to convince them that you are seriously interested and deeply committed to their welfare, yet independent, ambitious, and able to fend for yourself. If this seems like a tall order, then you had better think again before plunging ahead into this new relationship.

Whoa! Kinda strange huh?

We have a lot in common which is surprizing since I hardily ever get along with guys my own age... I really enjoy watching him do the Cocktails thing. He is a show bartender and competes in vegas... Hmmm his gf is under 21 ~ I wonder if he'd like some company on his lil vegas trip... badgirl! Muhhaahahaha!

OmG, I almost forgot... I dreamt of him (the bartender) last night too... Huh... it was kinda one of those nice dreams too... Excuse me for a second.. I need to go bake some muffins...lol

OKay enough with my craziness! I am off to CrazyWater's house to party! WooTWooT!