l Ooh what a night�. More like a week l

| Monday, Mar. 18, 2002 || 3:26pm |

It seems to me that the first line of my most recent entries has started with something along the lines of �Where to begin�? Risking a clique I will try my darndest to start out with OOH MY GAWD!

First, I got a new job! On Wednesday, I went to an agency (I know I swore I would never stoop to that level but I was getting desperate), they had me placed immediately. So I am starting my new job today, Monday, with a nice lil hang over that I will spill the details on later�. All I will say is I am going to be fine as far as money is concerned and it is only a 2 miles away from my house.

I can�t remember where my last entry left off so I will star t out on last Thursday night� Or maybe it was Wednesday? I forget� The scenario is the same as any other night� Cheers. I am seriously considering checking myself into a rehab facility really soon! So Thursday/Wednesday night was kind of a strange one, the usual suspects where amongst my company with the exception of a strange combination of Mr. Gemini and Mr. Not so big! I could not believe my eyes, I thought Clark Kent and Superman can not be in the same place at the same time� big exageration on the whole analogy of either one coming close to comparing to the upman himself� But now you get my drift� Regardless of being mentioned before, which I do not think she has� but the was the usual Ms. Diva-of-all-things-King� with her ever so gay boy Mr. George Michael himself� Although this was a typical Friday evening at Cheers (I just made up my mind it was Friday night), I began this evening stuck at Ms. Turbo-tease�s daddy�s house until almost midnight, but I won�t go into that. When I finally arrived, most everyone was in a bitchy ass mood or at least I though� I was kind of surprised to have Mr. Not-so-big hitting on me all most immediately, letting me know that he wasn�t in a bad mood and wanted to buy me a drink� My biggest problem with being as adorable as I am, everyone buys me drinks! Well, they are also my friends so they never let me pay for some odd reason� Not that I am complaining at all, I just think it is humorous that I am an alcoholic that doesn�t have to spend a dime! I think that also could be a major problem� Ooh well, back to the issue at hand! I got drunk, as one would have already assumed, but the twister to this titty is I got macked on by the cutest, most desirable lil red-haired beauty that has ever graced the dance floor of Cheers! I mean full on make-out session in full view of the entire establishment and many of our dearest and queerest� I was near to blows with some member of the Lollypop guild over it as well, apparently men, go figure, think that the only thing missing from our lil lesbian affair was their lil shrinky dinky. I just was not having any of machismo bull-pucky that night and twice came closer than Carolina cousins to beating the stick out of his munchkin ass! But NO, every time I would get ready one of my testosterone driven bar fiends would intervene and take over for me as if I couldn�t handle my own! What is with this 21st century where a woman can�t hold her own anymore in a bar brawl? Or at least men are too chivalrous to find out?! Chivalry is not the word I am looking for or else the fight would not have come that close to happening. This is the bad thing about the porn industry, they have completely filled these shmucks heads with the idea that all bisexuals or lesbians are there just waiting for some guy to join in! That is what we all secretly want and desire!

PUH-LEEEZ! That is the exact opposite of what we want, if we wanted dick hun we would just come up and grab it like we want it� Did we hand out invitations? I don�t think so! Well, that night ended with me getting lil to no sleep as both Clark Kent and Superman came over with their Lois Lane�

Now this brings us to Saint Patrick�s day� I got off of work at my usual time and wanted to get a nice head start on drinking so I would not be too drunk to drive or hung over for the first day of my new job� Mission Failed- tremendously! I was the first of all my friends to arrive at cheers to an unusually crowded parking lot. The first semi-familiar face was a sight indeed! It was Mr. Alaska�. The man I met on Tuesday night that for some reason didn�t think I could sing Jewel�. Ha-hah-hahhh did I show him or what? Well, I ended up showing him a lot more than I planned to! After a night of making out and drinking, I drove him home yeah, but to my home� I felt so awkward the next morning, this morning� The first thing he did was call his house and it seemed to me that this was a normal run down for him� Is he the male Juliette Lewis in Some Girl? I hope not� He asked "Some Girl", if his dad was there and then said I�m on Lake Terrace and Tribuno� But it remains to be seen whether or not he calls me today as he said he would last night� His words were �I�ll call you at work tomorrow� I was like no you will not, it is my first day and I will not be giving him my work number� What else? I love my new job, so far that is� Only time will tell. Is a Cancer okay for a Libra?

My next task is to lose weight, go to Palm Springs with Ms. Bongo? If I ever hear from her again, go to sprint and get a new phone not to mention rip them a new asshole as well� and going to Brazil with Ms. Diva-of-all-things-King and Ms. Girl-of-all-seasons! FOR FREE! Whooo �hooo! I guess her dance sponsor is paying for it all and she told him that she wanted us to go with her! Cause we are ooh soo cute and delicious! Umm I mean Fun! I just better get thin and tan before I get there, those Brazilians are known for their beauty!

I know I have left out so much, but I just can not bring myself to remember or write any more truths... I am a sliver away from atomic tear down... My eyes were watering as I spoke with Ms.one-is-never-enough over dinner tonight at our lil cubby-hole o' mexican food. We have both come to the sad but true realization that we are in a mid-20's crisis and feel as if we are twice our age.

What does it take for someone to get through all these trials and tribulations? Does everyone go through this hardship in their twenties? Does it get any better with the dawning of 30? Is that really something to fear? Maturity and wisdom shown proudly through a few gray hairs and gravity-seized tits? Maybe that isn't the black hole that every one frowns upon, maybe it won't be all that bad? Will I then feel 50 or 20? How does this age thing work anyways?