l Walking the desolate path of ammends.... l

| Monday, May. 13, 2002 || 1:12 p.m. |

I hurt someone today...

I hurt the one person in this world that has never done anything but give me the moon on a string.

My dear neighbor girl... I wrote somethings in the last entry that I should not have taken out on her. Anyone else but her. I did not mean anything in her

direction.

Pity Party - Now seating one!

That is me at this moment and that was me a few hours ago when I wrote the words that I wish I could never given birth to.

Geez, Champagne makes me a bitter, mean drunk! Not to mention blind as a batman playing his plastic guitar..

I said words that I wish I could have never let pass my lips... I do not understand how they trespassed into my mind to breed the hurt that I have inflicted.

For my Girl:

I don't know where my gracey (loufreebush) is

but I'll find her, somewhere, somehow

I've got to let her know how much I care

I'll never give up apologizin to my baby

We had a quarrel and I let myself go

I said so many things, things she didn't know

And I was oh oh so bad

And I don't think she's comin' back, mm mm

She gave the reason, the reasons she should go

And I said so many things I never said before

And she was oh oh so mad

And I don't think she's comin', comin' back

So open hearted, she never did me wrong

I was the one, the weakest one of all

And now I'm oh oh so sad

And I don't think she's comin' back, comin' back

I'm gonna find her, my Gracey

I did too much drinkin', wasted too much wine,

Now I'm here a'cryin', I, I, I

I've been around the world, lookin' from my gracey

Been around the bar, and I'm gonna

I'm gonna find her (so i can get on my hands and knees and beg for her forgiveness)

How and why in praytell did I do all this? Why do I always take all my frustrations and uck out on the ones I love? The nearest and dearest? I have always had this problem and it has caused more heartache then happiness in all of my past relationships.

I want with all my heart to have gracey be a part of my life for always...

all the plans we made...

all the dreams we shared just 48 hours ago...

Please don't let them go just yet...

The two most important non-blood people in my lives are nearly 2,000 miles away...

Only difference is she is my neighborgirl...

I love our dinners, time, wine, movies, laughter, cracks on everything, thoughts pulled from your mind out of my mouth...

Kindred...