l Ani DAY! l

| Saturday, Mar. 2, 2002 || 4:12 p.m. |

Tonight is Ani Difranco! "Just call me Mr. Difranco if they is anything I can do... You know that I have spots... mind if I have strips? "

I am sooo excited about this concert, not so much about the fact that I can not pay rent... that my ex-gf that promised me 200 dollars that she OWES me, didn't bother to call me back last night, and probably won't so she won't have to give me that money... Sh**! I get my paycheck on the 8th (?) so I will have the money then, but I am not sure if the check will be cashed before then or not, if it is then it will for sure bounce... I can get a payday loan, which I am, for 250 which is their max... but that will still leave me 400+ away... What the hell am I to do? If I hadn't bought these tickets months ago then I wouldn't have wasted the money, at least I am getting money from "prozac-flirt" for her ticket... that will get me $40 closer to my goal... Wooo -Hooo.... yee--haaaaaaaaa

Tomorrow, I Have to do my resume, So I can fax it to all the 50-million places that I called yesterday... What is it with Fu**kin' resumes? Why can't I just write out an application?!? I hate this "as-you-get-older-you-must-have-resume" crap! I had one all ready to go on my disk at my mom's but then she had to go and attempt at saving it on her hard drive and erasing my disk! But NOO it wasn't saved on her hard drive and now I have lost all of my K.S.A's from when I applied for gov't positions and all of my gov't job discriptions and crap... Which was perfectly worded! I just hope I can find a hard copy some where... I think I should still have the hard copy from when I faxed it to that ass "pschiedt" or something to that effect... I hope sooo... it would be much easier for me to work on then...

I am going to try to ask a few of my friends if I can just borrow the money until friday... More like hold onto it until friday... That is only a week away... I just have to selectively ask the ones that don't live on their own and have relatively no bills... That leaves only a few to ask, mostly just one... She lent my ex and I a $200.00 dollars once before so maybe she will again... this time I can pay her back with a wk. for certain... We'll see if I can even get a hold of her...

I check with my bank to see how long it took for the apartment place to cash or deposit last months, but it was posted on the 5th which was a tuesday... If they deposit them on the same day every month, which I am certain they have to... then there is no way that it will clear unless I do borrow some cash til the 8th... I only wish I had to guts to ask my dad, but that is in a way admitting defeat and my stupidity for getting myself unwittingly into a situation like this... That is just a humiliation I do not want to endure once again... I am really scared to tell my roommate that I am short... I make more an hour then her and work more hours too... She does get tips, which makes her actually make more money than me, but still I don't want her to freak out...

I HAVE TO GET OFF MY LAZY ASS AND GET ANOTHER JOB!!!!! LOSE WEIGHT!!!! MAKE MORE MONEY!!!

MOVE AWAY FROM HERE....... FAR FAR AWAY FROM HERE, after my lease is up of course....

I am almost out of here for the day.... yippy.... anyone know of a job I can get? anywhere? preferably in NYC... I just fell in love with the city as soon as I arrived last October... I would ideally love to live in Manhattan... I can stay with my friend "Ms.jewish-carrie-bradshaw" ( I know not one of my more creative ones) She lives only a block from the Empire state building, but I can only stay with her for max of 3 days due to the fact that she lives in a All-girls-Jewish-Dormitory... For some reason, I don't think I could find an apartment that I could afford in 3 days... Hell that would require a cooshie job and of course selling/getting rid of my car... There is no way in hell I would bother to make car pymts on something I wouldn't consider driving in that city... I could be skinny there so easily... Ahh what a concept... Happy, skinny and single in NYC... possibly writing a column like Sex in the city, as if I could get that kind of connections, drinking martinis, meeting my very own "big"... well maybe not "big" you know the other guy... Austin?? no... What-ever his name is... It's on the tip of my tongue... Aidan!