l Ever felt like the bridge broke out from underneath you? I do. l

| Wednesday, Aug. 28, 2002 || 3:16 p.m. |

Did I neglect to inform my friends of my new look? I believe so... Well, as I do with every life changing event I took it out on my hair.

Now several inches shorter (lil above shoulder length) I have replaced the honey-blonde-reddish-whatever that colour was with a nice autumn look of Rich reddish brown accented with gold and red highlights. It looks very Reese Whitherspoon or more Meg Ryan-ish only darker and redder.

Milwaukee really liked my new look. Our final hurrah went well... it went...

I went and ordered P.F Chang's take out and met him at the old apartment. It felt really nice to walk into the apartment and find him sitting there waiting for me, almost too nice.

He did not last long, I mean he started crying immediately. He could not stop telling me how beautiful I am, how sorry he is, how much he misses and loves me. Our food was cold by the time we actually started to eat and watch the movie. I have to say it was an intense movie to say the least. Milwaukee drew more comparisons to our relationship being connected to the movie then I could have ever fathomed.

We were on the floor enwrapped in each others arms all through out the movie. I could not let go and neither could he. He wore the "Superhero" ringer tee that he made the day we first met. Then left it for me to have. By the time he was going to leave I felt as if I wanted to just kick him out. No longer could I handle the prolonged good-byes, final kisses and last embraces. I was an emotional basket stressed by waters ripping through the weaves that resemble my eyelids. My throat was parched this morning from sobbing and holding my breathe to keep quiet. It took him hours to leave, that was while only inching towards the door. The pain I saw in his eyes standing outside the threshold, barely keeping ahold of my fingers, pleading not to let go was torturous. Then observing his frustrated, walk towards what would look like the death chamber,to his car was even more gut-wrenching. He had asked for my forgiveness out there in the hall, I said I had just wished that he had the strength to forgive me and he said that he did forgive. Now he looked as if he had wanted to run out into the streets awaiting the next car to drive right into his body. I love you's were shouted up to my window as well as I miss you's. I replied with "just remember that everything is going to be just fine, things will work themselves out and please drive carefully home. I know baby, I know... I do too..."

He called me to let me know that he had arrived safely at home. He called me today to see how my morning and day were going. He called me this afternoon to let me know he thought he had heard the Norah Jones song in a bar, but he wasn't sure. He called me to suggest I go talk to a property management company to see more apartments. I thought last night was going to be the last night of communication for a while? I am not complaining, I do not hate him. In fact it is just the opposite... I love him and this is going to be the end of me. I don't think I can handle seeing him again and saying good-bye one more time... It got nothing but harder last night for both of us. My eyes have swollen up to look as if I had been beaten. My heart feels like a lead weight tossed into the endless sea. My head is flooded with rocks crashing into my fragile crystalic inner child. I feel... I feel too much... of everything and yet nothing at all.