l Another Monday drones on to the beat of the corporate drummer... l

| Monday, Nov. 04, 2002 || 9:24 a.m. |

Is there such a thing as a back transplant? I didn't think so but I wish it were possible. Despite being nearly paralyzed this weekend I went out last night. I was actually feeling better, more mobile and less pain, which is always a good thing... but I am starting to think I maybe have over done it just a lil!

Lately I have been meeting people online and yet again I have crossed over into the realm of meeting in person! I went out to a bar that I used to frequent almost 5 years ago called Happy Hour. Surprisingly enough the same people work there! It was a flashback let me tell ya! We spent the night playing pool and drinking beer, how butch huh? Lol I actually did really well, I play pool like I bowl, sometimes well, sometimes not. Usually though when I do well on one game the next sucks shit, but I actually played well all night long. I only won one game but the others were very close�

I danced� I should not have danced, the music moved me, and it was an impenetrable force, one that could not be reasoned with. I am paying for it today. Why do I make myself suffer? It never fails, I am hedonistic, I admitted this in the very beginning, therefore I cannot complain.

I had an interesting conversation with the wonderful woman whom designed this new look for me; she absolutely amazes me! She has a more than a plateful in front of her and yet she still is able to find the time to help a virtual stranger free of charge! My kudos to you Jaxon! You are truly a beautiful person! I wait for the day when we can meet and I have the opportunity to pick your brain. I really do look forward to communicating with you again on another level.

Today is Monday, Star 98.7 will announce the next five contestants for the �To be a Star� contest. Only two more weeks left in the contest, I am waiting, patiently to hear my name. Will I actually qualify? Was my entry good enough to put me in the top 25? I have never wanted a Monday to arrive before�ever. If I am never announce I will never again want another Monday to arrive� I want so badly to sing! I need to sing. I need to get back to the shape I once was. Lose this damn hip padding; lose half of my ass. I know that compared to most people it is not all that bad, but I am so not happy with my body, but what can I do with my back the way it is? How can I exercise? I need a pool, swimming is the best way to tone, define and sculpt the way I need to in my current condition. Long Beach Vally�s has an indoor pool� I am rambling and need to get back to work. I just took a soma my boss gave me, hopefully it works� drugs, I need drugs� morphine drip maybe? I loved morphine; whenever I went to the dentist I dot them to give it to me� or was it the regular doctor? I forget� my brain is scrambled with cheese today.

Here is me a year ago in NYC when I was only 125, the best I have looked in years�.