l Rollin Rollin Rollin' Get them doggies rollin' Rawhide! l

| Monday, Aug. 12, 2002 || 2:28 p.m. |

It is rather weird being on Pacific Time again. Although it is only a two hour time difference I felt it last night. After spending the day helping out with the horses, watching polo games and being in the hot Washington sun, I went up to the main house for what I thought was going to be a nap... Boy was I wrong. I laid down at I think 7 pm and awoke to Milwaukee calling me at 11. The house was dark so I decided it was just best for me to continue sleeping, I was soo exhausted! I got a bit of colour on my shoulders and nose. Nothing too lobster-esque.

Well, I slept until 8 this morning and was up and ready to go. I ran some errands with My dad's sister-in-law-to-be...She is pretty cool for being spaztic... She is an energetic one at that I should say. But all in all she is pretty cool.

Milwaukee called me today and is having a bad day... I guess he is just dwelling on all of the problems we have had or something like that. He says he misses me a lot and it is weird not having me at home when he gets there or when he goes to sleep at night... No word yet on what he wants as far as the baby is concerned...

I have resorted to consulting the I Ching as an outside source of help. Here is what they have to say as of yet... My question to the I Ching was "show me an image of me having this baby" The result was 6 changing in the fourth into 59. Here is what the friends have to say about it... so far.

A dilemma indeed. I�ll do my best to interpret your reading.

First, your question while specific, may have been too narrowed in scope, based on the response you�ve received. I�m persuaded to believe that the I Ching is much more likely to address ones present mental-emotional condition (attitude) than to satisfy our narrowed and specific interests. This is a sweeping statement, I know, but its genuinely how I perceive it. My interpretation, therefore, will apply to your present circumstance rather than to show you an image of you NOT having the baby.

6 is a picture of Conflict. The most relevant council here is to carefully consider the beginning because it holds the seeds of all that will follow. This is a matter of clearly identifying the rights and duties of each of you. This can be tedious and uncomfortable at first, but its an essential step if you are to be at peace for the rest of your life with the decisions you will be making now. Let me repeat the two critical words here: Rights and Duties. This isn�t something I can do for you, nor is it a decision which Yi is offering to make for you. Only you and Ben can come to these conclusions. Since you are the inquirer, I�ll offer that Your decision is the pivotal one in this matter.

Line 4 suggests that you have the option to submit and accept your fate. In fact, the line encourages you do just that. It means that your forward motion to engage in the conflict of your pregnancy with Ben could be calmed by �being at peace with eternal law.�

Line 5 refers to an arbitrator. There are many possible arbitrators in this case, so it may be suggesting more than one. In any case, you can turn over or present your dilemma to certain others in whom you have trust in and respect for. In such times as this, good council is priceless.

Your relating hexagram is called: Dispersion or dissolution (59). The idea expressed here is, the dissolving of divisive tendencies. This is accomplished through gentleness. Ice is dissolved by a gentle wind. The hexagram points to a turning toward God. Now I know that the word, God, can be inflammatory these days. Interpret the word to mean whatever it means to you. Call it your higher power, your raised consciousness, or call upon the deity which you are most comfortable calling upon. This isn�t a mistake, and indeed is essential in order to dissolve the hardness of egotism that is dividing and causing conflict.

I hope you find this helpful. My sincerest best wishes to you.

~Candid

By Willow (Willow) on Sunday, August 11, 2002 - 12:46 am:

This has to be really fast right now, but I'll be back later.

The thing I want to say is that Karcher's title for #6 is "Arguing." He says, "to be in accord with the times, you are told to argue!" So what you and Ben are doing is right in line with the times.

But it's a special kind of arguing - like Candid says, it's a time to carefully consider the beginning. The advice of #6 has a lot to do with the point and the rules of arguing. Notice that you have alternated positions over the weeks - you are both exploring the poles of the possibilities, dancing around them, alternating. So let your arguing start to give you a sense of the shape of what really matters to you, the shape of how you will decide things as a family, what you want as a family, how you will be able to be two unique, separate, (whole in your own rights) people who are both contributing to something that both of you shape together.

Think of the yin-yang symbol. If it's static, it just looks like a pair of opposites, things that look like they want to pull apart. But if you start to spin it around, pretty soon each blurs into the other, and you start to see the other fundamental shape that's there - the circle, the whole.

Regardless of what you decide, you are creating one of the defining experiences of your new family. In my family, for two generations, there are first children that never were. They aren't here with us as people, but they contributed to the shapes of the families where they knocked, then for whatever choice of soul, or blow of fate, they did not enter. (Note that the nuclear hexagram is #37 The Family.)

My thoughts are with you!

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What do you all think?