l When Curiousity killed the Cat... l

| Friday, Apr. 12, 2002 || 9:08 a.m. |

**Just a foreword~ this is my conversations going on at www.onlineclarity.co.uk

This is my consultation with the I Ching, and ancient chinese is the world�s oldest oracle, the most ancient and revered book of the Chinese, and at the root of their philosophy and science.Ooh and I go by the psuedonym of Annie...**

Hey Hilary and Friends~

My mom recently met a man of 23 yrs on a plane trip that just moved into our area from across the U.S. He knows no one, other than his roommates, and from what my mom has told him, is very interested in meeting me... She has given me his number to call and be his "tour-guide".

She seems to think that we would be good together and I would like to think that she knows my tastes somewhat.. Curious and skeptical I consulted the I Ching..

Can you help me with the translation? I can always use the interpretation of others...

22 with changing in the 6th resulting into 36.

Again, always appreciated. Look forward to hearing from anyone and everyone.

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Hi Annie.

You didn't mention how you feel about this situation. My impression is that its saying to gracefully withdraw from the offer and hide your light protectively from view, that your integrity will not be encroached upon, and that your will may prevail without awakening enmity.

Candid

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Thank you Candid~

I am still not sure how I feel about this particular situation. I want to meet someone with whom I share similiar interests and someone I can enjoy spending time with. However I am skeptical of what my mom thinks would be a good match.

Thanks again~ Annie

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Hello Annie,

Just another 2p...

I can well appreciate your scepticism! It seems a strange beginning for meeting anyone, 'Mum thinks we're well suited.' Hmmm... (But then - as certain members of this community could tell us - that's just a matter of culture...)

Hexagram 22's lines suggest the story of a courtship, and the whole thing seems to be about how someone presents themselves. This covers the full spectrum from a superficial concern with appearances to a perfect correspondence between a beautiful surface and a beautiful inner truth.

There are good times for dwelling on the presentation, the way you meet and interact, rather than wanting to penetrate below the surface - this is one of them. That top line, 'white adorning' is like undyed cloth: what you see is absolutely what you get, with no disguise or falsification. (And BTW, though you may well have a translation that says white is the colour of mourning, this idea is younger than the I Ching, so not particularly relevant!)

What about the second hexagram, hiding brightness away because of injury, or a fear of injury? Well, this can indeed be a good strategy. Specifically, it's the way to cope when you are excluded from the centre where the decisions are made, and are liable to be misjudged and hurt if you let your true light shine out. Once in a while (and especially as a second hexagram) it can also be a mistake. Not falsifying is one thing, hiding your light under a bushel is another.

So... just to be really helpful, I'm going to differ from Candid on this one. I don't think it can hurt to meet the man, trust the appearances for once and also let your own be quite plain, simple and honest. The I Ching says in that case there is 'nothing wrong' - suggesting it's possible to be too sceptical...

Let us know what you decide, and what he's like if you meet!

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Hi Annie,

don't take me as any sort of an expert, I'm more of a bull in a chinashop of free association, but here's what I see:

To me, Grace is connected to serendipity - to a trusting attitude that allows for unexpected coincidences lining up so that the universe seems to be working with you on your goals. Certainly there is a coincidence at the origin here (mom meets guy on plane).

The big question here is *who's* serendipity train are you going to ride on. Your mom sees this as a matchmaking coincidence, and I'm not sure what kind of coincidence you see it as. Maybe it is a coincidence that will help to clarify your relationship with your mom - whether you take (or reject!) her opinion of what is good for you without much question, or whether her opinion is one of many you value before you make your *own* decision.

I might suggest that if you approach this as a "small matter" (a simple welcoming of a stranger to town, who happened to cross your path), and not as a "controversial issue" (a loaded match-making encounter), you may well see your way to a comfortable course of action.

The change to #36 suggests to me that since the young man will come with his own agenda too, you may need to do a little "veiling, yet still shining" in order to make it clear to him you are just kindly welcoming a stranger, not rolling out the red carpet.

If there really is a good connexion between you two, it will come out on its own. Likewise, if there isn't, no harm. Make yourself and the quality of your personality and generosity the issue, not the quality of mom's judgement...

nks

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I guess the answer to your question Annie surely rests on the relationship you have with your mother - on whether you view her as trying to run your life, or, as someone you have a very deep empathy with. Possibly it would help to consult the I Ching on the nature of your relationship with her. How much do you want her to influence your life ?

*Oops I see Nks just said that - in a more eloquent way.

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Okay so let me reiterate to make sure that I have this accurate. If I choose to meet him, take him at face value (an exception to things are not always what they appear to be), I should keep myself guarded or protect myself from showing him too much of the real me...

What does this mean if I were to meet him and find that we are indeed perfect for each other? Does this mean I should always keep my 'brightness hidden' or only if I don't like what I see?

I have already chosen to call him and I left a brief message, nothing to much and have yet to hear a response... I will definitely keep you all posted!

Again thank you~ Annie

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Nks~

Thanks for your insight! I completely agree with what you have stated as your opinion! I have already decided to approach the situation as such (welcoming a stranger into town and offering my services as a personal tour guide).

If it turns to be out to be just that or a possibility of a relationship vs. friendship I will take that step as it approaches.

Also to you louise, My mom does indeed try as hard as she can to influence my life as well do I try hard for her not to be right... I will try as you suggest and ask the I Ching about our relationship... Thanks...Everyone!

~Annie

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