l Didn't you know I was a psychotic, abusive, lying freak? Well now you do l

| Friday, Jan. 17, 2003 || 9:01 a.m. |

Angel,

I can't take this anymore. I really can't. I am at my wits' end with this entire situation. How can you possibly think that I would even REMOTELY consider moving to CA and be a part of your life? You sent me a message today informing me that I might have "ruined" everything for you professionally. Professionally? Are you kidding? Since when do the ideas, she's a hacker, and who knows what she'll do with your information and "professional" fit into the same box? You've been telling me that she is going to send you the money tomorrow, or later today, or soon for over a month. You've been promising me a lot of nothing for even longer. What have you done? Gotten a new apartment that you can't afford, planned trips, gone out...how have you shown me even in the least that you have any commitment to your promise of being responsible and paying me what you owe me?

Hello? Are you there? Take another hit.

You tell me that you are completely and helplessly in love with me. All I can think about is you beating the shit out of me, screaming at me. All I can think about is how I missed out on an entire summer with my friends becuase you made me miserable whenever I wanted to go out--not to mention I had no money because I was busy supporting you while you sat on the damn couch watching DVDs all day, every day. You did nothing to try and find a job. I handed you an opportunity with Manpower, and you never bothered to follow up. I asked them what happened, they simply said that you never expressed any real interest. You sat around and complained about everything, pumping my brain with delusions of grandeur, making me believe everything was going to be fine. I worked my ass off for you, and in return you did...?

I don't think you've been trying to get money from anyone named Julie, or Jimmy, or Bobby. When you told me what she supposedly offered you, I just about bust out laughing. $78.5K a year with $50K living expenses? Where are you living, a $4Mil mansion? Do you think I'm stupid? That's insane, not to mention every time you're supposed to meet with her she bails on you and it doesn't work out. You tell me that everything's going to be great but in reality you can't even believe that yourself. Do you want to pay me back? Probably. Will you have the means to anytime soon? Doubtful. Because you waste your money on crap and things that aren't necessary instead of taking care of things that should be paid out first.

I'm glad you're having fun, moving on, making life changes. I've made some pretty big changes too, but let me tell you, I'm struggling through it all. Thanks to you. I might have inadvertently ruined some far-fetched opportunity for you, but you, my dear, have ruined everything for me. It will take me a very long time to recover from the damage that you have done to my life. I let you do it, I believed the things you told me. Not any more. I didn't believe you when you said that you were going to pay me the first time. I still don't. Don't want to do to me what "one has done to you?" You already are. Tell me you'll send me money, then send none. Act like you can't live without me, after treating me like shit. I'm not playing this game anymore.

You're psychotic if you think I would entertain the idea of moving in with you. Would I like to work in the same building as you? No way. I wouldn't risk what little professional reputaion I have by using you as a reference. I can't stand the thought of you anymore. I am pushing you out of my life forever. If you want to communicate with me, send a check to my parents' address. Otherwise, forget it.

You took a risk. Well, here it is, blowing up in your face. I do NOT love you, Angel. I do not want to talk to you again. I do not want to see you again. You cry because I might have ruined something that never existed? Well, you destroyed everything I had, and still manage to work your way into my life. No more.

I will not read anything you send me. I will not answer your calls. I will not listen to your messages. Do not waste your time trying to find me or get in touch with me. Do not waste your time trying to get in touch with my friends. They know everything, and believe me, they don't want to talk to you either.

I am the best thing that ever happened to you, and the best that ever will. Know that you, singlehandedly, took me for granted, attacked me, and threw it away forever. I will be successful. I know this. What do you know?

This is my closure. And I don't need an audience to tell me what it means.

Can you believe this? Well fine, whatever... I did tried my ass off to get a job with "Manpower" calling them, asking about inquires left and right yet nothing ever came from it. They gave me reasons like "the job market is really struggling right now" or whatever they offered as an opportunity never materialized or ended up going with someone else and never informing me...

I ruined his life? What do you call knocking me up, questioning my faith after talking me into keeping the child, constantly putting stress on a 'high risk' pregnant woman with your yelling, and then kicking me pregnant out into the streets over the phone while I was in another state for my fathers wedding??? Then making me find my own way home from Chicago O'Hare airport all the way back to Milwaukee... What the Fuck ever! I got a job, yes I do admit that it took a while but you call giving up after two months trying?? I am sorry that you feel as if I 'ruined' your life, I will no longer make excuses for what happened in the past. Yes I overacted, yes I became overly emotional due to the odd amount of hormones running through my veins...

Excuse me for thinking that love never dies, having hope & faith in the human race. You never think of me? So who was it from GMR marketing in Wisconsin that reads this all the fucking time??

5 gmrmarketing.com 1:51:04 pm 1 0:00

10 gmrmarketing.com 11:33:25 am 1 0:00

24 gmrmarketing.com 7:46:32 am 1 0:00

(that all was just today! Two of these after I posted this)

OKay well I hope you also never think of the child that we created and destroyed. I will not wish for you to ever have to experience that horrible void that is left when your love is sucked from your womb all because you had doubts of my faith to you, think that I would actually create life with another only days before abandoning my whole existence to start a new with you two thousand miles away...

I will not apologise... you do not deserve it anymore... I deserve better, I deserve someone who is not spineless, emotionally weak, and totally insecure. I deserve someone who will stand up and take responsibility in the face of his family for his actions and not coward behind lies your delusional insecurity created. You want mommy & daddy to be proud of you? Then stand up and face the truth, let them know that you were wrong and the child destroyed was in fact your own. or can't you?