l How much time do people spend being disappointed in life? Why do we let ourselves be disappointed in the first place? l

| Friday, Dec. 20, 2002 || 2:05 p.m. |

Well shit! I think my weekend is all fucked up now... I left early from work so I could do as I had planned and head up to San Fran. before the huge storms hit... apparently things have changed for OG is in Tahoe! WTF?? I thought she said she couldn't afford to take time off? I know I can't but did because I thought she could use the emotional support - my ass! I feel as if our friendship is not appreciated and being taken for granted right now & I am very emotionally upset. I have left her a message a day since we talked on Tuesday letting her know that I was still coming up & really looking forward to spending time hanging out only to be blown off!

She is going to call me back in an hour supposedly to let me know what to do, but I am really disappointed with the whole situation. I could have gone to Mr. & Mrs.A & B's b-day party tomorrow night but I told Mrs. A that I would be in S.F! What a asshole do I feel like right now! I feel so unappreciated & stupid. So I am sitting here at home waiting to hear back from her cause I might just drive up to Tahoe to pick her up. What a sucker am I? Or am I just a good friend, I don't know at this point. Should I pack or settle in at home?

Maybe I will use this reflection alone time to finally do yoga...