l It's over, I am finally free and coming home. l

| Thursday, Aug. 08, 2002 || 8:54 a.m. |

I am coming home. Alone... or rather pregnant but with out milwaukee. As far as he is concerned and verbally expressed last night this child is not his. Does any one out there know who's child I am having then? Cause I am at a loss. Is this the miraculous conception? I am the next chosen virgin mary? I highly doubt it, but Milwaukee seems to think that it is impossible that he is the father... since a medical journal says that my most fertile time was 5 days before he came out to california... Oh there is no possible way that I could have conceived on any of the plentiful occasions that we had UNprotected sex at least five times a day, each and every day... According to a medical book and science.

The same day he gets rid of my cat he calls me a whore and my mom a cock-sucker... My family has problems he says... At this point, while in bed (well he is laying there back turned to me and I am sitting up) he called my mom a cock-sucker and I turned in a rage and beat him with my fists- on his back... He did nothing, but I hit, pounded, yelled and screamed. My family may not be the cleavers but we love each other, stand by each other and at least they will be behind me 100% no matter what I choose to do, they show support and love no matter what! That is a lot more than I can say for yours!

The audacity... I told him that he did not have to worry, I would have papers drawn so he would be able to sign away his rights to the child, but he said he will not put his name on anything... I said well I don't even have to put your name on the birth certificate, and since you are not the father then I guess that won't matter to you will it? My family will support me and be behind me regardless. Don't worry about picking me up from the airport... Why he asked? How will I get home? Home? He thinks that this is my home after he said all that to me??? I said I am going to california after washington... What about all of your stuff? My mom and I agreed that a moving company could be hired to pack up my stuff and ship it all back. Then being the immature brat that he is, said that since I am not coming back then he is not giving me a ride to the airport. How childish?

I am tired, our war ceased around 2:30 am in nothing but exhausted silence; a cease fire. Then I went to the bathroom and balled my eyes out. I am not giving him the satisfaction of getting to me as much as he is.

My ex ~ Ms.Original Gem, he thinks that out of respect for him and our relationship that I should not continue our friendship... He thinks it is unhealthy and disrespectful to him and our relationship... What utter BULL SHIT!!!

She has done more good for me then he ever has... She understands and does not pass judgement. Despite our past relationship she has given me wonderful advice pertaining to Milwaukee and I.

I will not make that ultimatium and since he has brought it to such I choose friendship; I choose the OriginalGem. She is a constant in my life, she will always be there. He has not proven to even be able to trust me when I have done nothing but sacrifice... everything.