l Was a promise really something people kept Not just something they would say? l

| Friday, Nov. 22, 2002 || 1:48 p.m. |

A well-intentioned promise is necessarily vague. Someone is ready to get on with his or her life. Now that you've done what you can, happily accept what won't come to pass.

Today�s horoscope can have a couple of different meanings. The most obvious is~ I have been had. The Webmaster and I had made plans that apparently she had no intention of upholding, just as I was being to have faith in miracles and the decency of the human race. Well slight exaggeration, but I was really trying my hardest to believe that all the bullshit I have suffered though these past 6 months or so could possibly been for a great reason. I do believe that everything happens for reason, but I was a lil too hopeful and now I am disappointed.

I waited for something, telling myself to have faith & believe that good people can exist. Wait� they do and I have proof. I called Romantic to talk while I was waiting patiently� As it turns out he was nearby, why I have no clue� well he said why but it just seems a lil odd, but whatever. He came by and tried his best to keep me optimistic. It took him three hours to drive from his house to the same area we were at. Although that helped rationalize it just a lil there was absolutely no excuse for the lack of a courtesy call. Common courtesy is not that common apparently. But then again why would someone call if they were playing me for a fool? Yes, exactly.

When I finally gave in to this conclusion and went home hungry and licking my wounded pride, I jumped online to see if maybe she would be there� I did notice that she had viewed yesterday�s entry at 7:14 pm, 14 minutes after she was considered late. A lil secret I know of when using Wahoo messenger� if a person in on invisibly and you i.m them you don�t receive an offline response as you would if they were really offline� she was online invisibly and gave no response.

I�m over it, there is nothing left that can be said. No excuses ~ nothing. I�ve been had. I just have a hard time believing that someone could do that to a person. I really put myself out there; I gave her access to a lot of info and blindly trusted a virtual stranger.

I refuse to feel stupid or foolish though; one should not feel that way about having faith. Never regret believing the potential of goodness in anyone. Maybe I should have been a little more skeptical but I doubt that is possible. I searched for every ounce of info I could find on her to turn up with nothing. But the hope I had that maybe since she knew so much that one could not have known or is not public knowledge, maybe it was all true. Maybe I could be handed the golden key. Good things can happen and sometimes, in a blue moon, the impossible can be possible. Just not in this case.

Now back to the second meaning ~ Milwaukee. Need I say more? I think not.

On a lighter note, I have been extensively searching for roommate possibilities and just received 53 emails consecutively from just one sight. Although I have had horrible experiences with all my previous roomies, this is my only choice/hope.

You see, I am and will always remain optimistic. There is always a bright side to every situation. Life is a prism; although one side may seem hazy, another will shower you in rainbows.