l Living it up in PoDunk... l

| Wednesday, Jul. 17, 2002 || 11:03 a.m. |

I am so glad that I now have something to do other than watch my movies repeatedly. While I love doing so, it just gets kind of lame.

Neighbor Girl you know what I am talking about.

Two months now of unemployment. I think I am going insane. We had a talk last night about how I am feeling. I never got around to the suffocation part, but I figured I would give him more time to digest everything else first. He said he is worried about us, because he is really unhappy. Why? Just because I am not in the mood and under doctors orders to not do so regardless? I don�t know.

I have been thinking a lot about other people too. The Original Gem and the Asshole to be specific and I have been having dreams about both of them. Is that bad or is that normal? Or should I say is that hormonal?

I have no idea what is going on inside my head these days. I am just trying to make him feel like I am not ignoring him as he loves to think lately.

I am getting more and more calls from manpower asking me if I would be interested in this job or that, but they never call me back to let me know what the decision was. They ask me if I'd be interested, get me all excited about a job prospect then do not follow up and let me know that they went with someone else... Am I s'pose to assume that when ever they call me and tell me about a new one that the previous one went with someone else? I guess... I have no idea. This new one that came in today sounds sweet. My only concern is how early it is... Lord knows I can not function at 7:30 in the morning especially after a 30 minutes commute. It is for a large company acting as an Executive Assistant to the VP 60% of the time and the other 40% acting as the Division Administrator. It starts at $30,000 so I am not complaining... That would be more money than I was making at any one of my jobs in California. I think I could handle that. I just hope that they like my resume. I guess we will see.

Welcome back to the Ghetto library. I am now surrounded by a Hasidic Jew, a balding comb-over with a mullet along with a bullring through his nose and a few normal people. Welcome to my world. I love my new computer... Although I can not access the Internet, I do have a few fun games, not to mention I will be able to update my journal a few days at a time now. You will be more thoroughly up to date on my life here in Podunk now. Look through the eyes of a depressed, over-weight, semi-pregnant, lonely, unemployed, attention-starved 22 year old "married" girl.

What an exciting life I lead.

I have my doctor's appt. tomorrow. I am really nervous. Milwaukee wants to be there to hold my hand, but I really don't want him there. I thought I was melodramatic, if I leave his side at all I will return to find his head buried in his arm as if he is mourning. It is ridiculous. I am marrying a baby and having one too. What is a girl to do? If you know please let me know... drop me a line or two I could use it ~ you know contact with the rest of the world. Human contact, I am starting to believe that I will sooner be in contact with life on another planet rather than with other human beings.