l Now I lay me down to sleep, my precious child for you I weep l

| Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2003 || 12:28 p.m. |

Lance - Spear; German Origin

This is the name of the cute lil baby boy I had last night, with blonde hair & blue eyes�

In my dream! Funny, strange dream out of nowhere� I was in a mansion living with some girl, there was huge banquet with fancy cars being given away & my dad was there� so odd. I was there with a guy (I assume he was the father), and we kept leaving our child places� the scariest was when we put him in the bathtub I just walked away. When we remembered where he was I flipped out thinking he may have drown. When we discovered him he was sitting up playing with toys, laughing & splashing around.

I want a baby; I want a beautiful lil child of my own. To watch him/her grow, take their first steps; laugh, words� the first day of school. The life I will have someday.

I wonder whom it is that will sweep me off my feet, make me happier than I have ever been, and live with until we grow old & gray. I look forward to my future & embrace it with open arms & a loving heart. I know whom ever it is that I find (or finds me) will embrace my past for just that, my past. Not judge or question whatever I have done, not hold any of against me but love me more for it making me who they fell in love with. I need honesty, trust & commitment. Someone who is as secure with themselves as they are with me, no secret insecurities that infringe upon our relationship leaving questions & doubts to shadow our lives� as I have said before I know who I want, just not in the flesh as of yet.