l Synchronicity l

| Saturday, Nov. 02, 2002 || 3:57 p.m. |

As soon as I completed my previous entry I returned to Wahoo to check my e mail... Milwaukee had sent another emotionless, cold email in regards to money. Well instead of regurgitating his words I have decided to print them here starting with the first one...

Hello Angel--

I hope this finds you well. Happy belated birthday; hopefully you had a fun weekend and had a chance to celebrate with friends.

I've been doing ok, although this has really been one hell of a transitional period for me. Still at Bud, still wishing I was somewhere else.

I am assuming that you've been working and doing pretty well. I'd like to ask if you can start paying me back the money that you owe me. I really need it and it would make things easier if I had it. You should still have my account info, and if you want to mail a check you can send it to my parents' house at:

Thanks Angel. Take care,Milwaukee

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There is no spoon.

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My response~

Thank you... thank you for the coldest birthday greeting this year.

Yes, I still have your account information and yes I still intend to pay you back for your trouble. I just managed to get caught up on my car payments and now have to start paying off my mom's credit card as well as yours.

I am still working and have received a nice lil raise for my 30-day review. I had a wonderful birthday, went to Santa Barbara Friday night with Kevin and a few others for Jennifer's last home show this year... we stayed the night near by and I spent the day with a friend shopping then my friend took Sally and I to Disneyland for the evening... Unfortunately I haven't been able to make it to Knott's Scary Farm this year... I am hoping to see Elvira one last time before she retires, but we will see. Last night, my friend Summer, with whom I have been taking dance classes from, took me and my friend out to dinner then I got my b-day present from her which was a 1 and 1/2 hour massage... She had some masseuse gay boy come over and oh my god I needed it. My lower back has been in pain everyday since... and my naproxen does nothing, plus I have been having sciatic problems... I am too young for this shit but oh well.

Anyways, I am sorry to hear that you are still at that miserable job, I love mine and ironically enough we desperately need an engineer here. We have just recently lost three so our office is down to one field engineer and then Steve, the boss and myself. Ken is having to go into the field now, Steve can't because of his lack of a license (drivers) and I am looking into classes to do so myself... Environmental science seems pretty interesting enough... As well I am working on my first cd, which should be out mid January. I am really throwing myself into my work and getting back into shape. I attend classes regularly at Summer's Studio, not to mention going to Bally's every other day I am not dancing. (Something you may want to look into, Bally's is having a deal where you can pay off your entire membership in up to three monthly payments saving you interest and the monthly payments each month. I think they are only doing this until the end of Oct.)

Well, Thank you again, as cold as your email was, I still appreciate the thought. Please in the future do not bother if it is going to be as impersonal as this. I would rather be disappointed by not hearing from you at all than receiving something as cold as this email was.

Take care - fuck that - Love, Angel

And then today:

Angel,

I received your response to my request to begin paying me back. I understand that you have other financial responsibilities as well, but I am in dire need of the money that you owe me. I covered three months rent for you, as well as other expenses, and now that you are working I really need to you start paying me back. The debt you owe your mother is important, but you borrowed the money from me first, and I would expect you to begin paying me first.

Please begin sending payments as soon as possible. If you would like me to break down what you owe me, I can do that, but rent alone totals $1087.50 (minus $100 that you sent me a while ago).

Thank you,Milwaukee

My Response~

I understand and I am trying. Please believe me when I say this... my mom is very difficult to deal with financially, if I do not pay her as much as she is demanding I have no place to live. She will not and does not understand me paying you anything so she thinks that her bills are priority over even my own. I however do not feel the way that she feels and fully intend on living up to my responsibilties...

I do not wish for you to send me a 'break down' of the damage I have caused to your life, living everyday with what has happened is reminder enough.

At present I am up north at my grandparents fighting my grandmother from taking me to the hospital. My insurance does not kick in for over one more month and I have been having major health problems. My back has gone out almost completely, I can not sit, stand or even walk without excrusiating pain or crying... I don't know what caused this, my back has been messed up for quite sometime but it has never been as bad as this. Well, I am sure you don't care to hear any of this, but whatever... the point is I am miserable... and I hope that you are doing better.

Love always, Angel