l Ringing in my ears, maybe never know the reasons why l

| Friday, Aug. 16, 2002 || 4:20 p.m. |

My family is all here. My brother and his wife arrived last night after we had thought they were to be in after 11 or so they had actually got in around 9... drove around and got lost in the woods for about 2 hours or so until we got back from dinner and gave them the correct directions. Then around midnight I finally decided to hit the hay... My phone, which had been put on vibrate at the restaurant, had missed 4 calls. All from Milwaukee and all in less than 3 minutes 30 minutes before. Why would he call like that? Should I call back? Completely perplexed I phoned dear ole NeighborGirl and she said call him back and find out what he wanted. SO I did and he did not answer. I only tried once and figured since it was 2 am back home if he heard his phone and it was important enough he would call back. Which he has not done. I think he was just drunk and maybe missing me? Or maybe just the opposite; over me and wanting to give me an earful, or maybe he met someone last night and was going to get lucky and wanted to rub it in. I don't know and I might not know. I refuse to play tag at this point. I have done all I can do and I am not groveling or crawling on hands and knees. I have some integrity and respect for myself.

I really do secretly wish that he was missing me and wanting me to come back to him. At this point he would have to apologize and take everything he said that wednesday night back. Meaning mostly what he said about my mom. That was just completely rude and uncalled for. She has never done anything to him to warrent that kind of remark.

I will continue this later... My aunts have arrived.