l Some kind of so-called life l

| Saturday, February 23, 2002 || 12:44 pm |

Quiet, or at least sometimes I wish you would be silent... Can I not get one nights rest without you trying desperately to paw at my flesh as if I were a fluffy pussy - cat? If your hands weren't so rigid and body stiff then maybe, just maybe I would let your trigger slide... but your body's just too dull and you're only half-cocked and why can you not let your mouth relax?!

I don't require a good night kiss and would actually prefer you not shove my head into the pillow when you kiss me... You've been warned to not use your teeth... but that does not mean leave your trap wide open! Don't use your teeth... but don't swallow my face either!

Sleep mulls around until 1:20 am then hits me over the head with a sticky bun. You pathetically ask me permission to cuddle... I relucantly agree to an arm across my waist... my excuse, like every other night, is some thing to the extend of "my back hurts, I need to keep in alignment..." I swear some times my period has verbally lasted longer than a pregnancy... Not tonight, can't we just sleep? I am just so exhausted... Good night! Silently praying again for your mouth to just shut! What makes you think that I want to hear about something I wasn't there for? Did I ask you about your day? Do you really think that I would enjoy that concert just because I am there with you? I hardily go anywhere with you... don't you realize we only go to movies or just stay at home and watch movies there? I hardily take you to the bar where everyone knows our name... It's not embarrassing, just boring... You have two left feet, your all thumbs, tongue is tied, ears wired shut and can't see past your nose! Is that spelled out clear enough for you?? Can't you hear what I am doing? Actions speak louder than words? You can't even understand braille!

I have no rock to crawl under, no corner in which to cower... I can't even live in another state for fear that you'd find me... We may share a geographical past, but honey there is no hope for a future... The seas may not separate us but oceans will come between our lives... if I can even escape to breathe the light of day.