l You've been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown, telling us both we are the one... Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you're not gonna stop me from having fun... l

| Sunday, Feb. 24, 2002 || After Midnight |

Your touch I could no longer stand

dangling participle suicide

You ask to snuggle, feel the warmth of my body

thoughts like these are repulsive

I do not choose to dance near you

no longer need to glance at you

no more kisses to calm me

hugs to soothe me

distance and space between

is what I now crave

I did it! My limb snapped in two from the turbulent winds that were hurricane "missionaryman". The night was not at all what I had planned, I went to work as normal all the while "mr.missionaryman" hung out with "ms.one-is-not-enough" watching Roswell recordings all day long! The only thing I wanted to do was go home, to an empty house or my moms, catch up on my entries and writings then maybe stay at home and watch movies... Yeah right, a sunday night away from "Cheers" what was I thinking??! "Missionaryman" apparently made plans to go and what more could I do? I have been intentionally NOT going with him there for specific reasons... (read the entry prior to this one...) but I could no longer push it aside I had to suck it up and go.... I managed to finagle most of the evening free only inviting "ms.prozac-flirt" over to watch me dye my hair (I know how exciting) and just hang out... then around 10 or so, maybe a lil later than that we drove over to "cheers" to meet them all for song and drink. Frustration bubbled over like a caldron filled with anguish and pain... My night felt like I was pinned down with water drops trying to penetrate my skull... until I finally could not stand it any longer... I broke his fragile lil heart around 1 am...