l time will only tell, will it wound all heals? l

| Monday, Jul. 15, 2002 || 1:48 p.m. |

In the past 5 days since my last entry I have discovered twice that I am pregnant. Once at home and then again at planned parenthood... Ironically named since nearly 90% of the girls who end up there never planned on getting knocked up...

Well, then two days later, after I have come to terms with this lil surprise and have disclosed the info to my entire family... I noticed some bleeding... Not a good sign or so I am to believe.

4 hours at the emergency room later, I am informed ~ after being poked, prodded, catheterized and i.v'd(for no apparent reason), I am told that I have a minor UTI and the development of the fetus is not coming together as it should at least right now... But because it is so soon in the pregnancy it can not be determined for certain, but it appears that I might end up miscarrying.

No matter how much I wanted initially to put off having a family I would rather not really be pregnant that have a miscarriage. I want this baby to be healthy not dying...

Now I have to go back for more blood work and I have an appointment with the OB clinic for this Thursday to follow up. I hope everything works out. I wish I had friends and family to be around, someone I could talk to that would know what I am going through and understand. I know that this is the time that I must communicate with my baby's daddy, but he really knows not of what to do or much about this type situation. I need more than this, I feel smothered by the only person I can turn to. That is not a good thing at this point in time. God What I would do for a glass of wine right now! but I will refrain, I must... It is bad enough I have to sneak a smoke when he is not around...

Well, I have to get off of this computer... before the nazi-librarian makes yet another comment.

Until tomorrow... I miss you all!