l whine, worry and willow l

| Monday, Feb. 04, 2002 || 3:28 p.m. |

As everybody knows the patriots won the super bowl... Dammit if I had only placed that bet in Vegas... I'd be one rich woman!

As for all the melodrama in my life here it goes...

The "newbie" has fallen hard... I can just hear the sound of his scull cracking on the side walk... Oor after I eventually get around to talking to him, his heart shattering into minute pieces... But this will have to be put on hiatus at least until after I get moved into my new place... I should have been all moved in about a month ago but no I am such a procrastinator! I don't even have boxes or let alone started packing up anything...

I managed to have a lil bit of fun on my sporatic, brief trip to Vegas, I was s'pose to have gone with a few of my girl friends and the "newbie", but everyone but him backed out... So I was stuck in the car with him for 4 hours both ways... I managed to escape talking to him for the majority of the way there by calling family and friends, some of whom I haven't spoke with in almost 12 yrs...

Namely my long lost cousin... she has been kinda a myth almost for the past 10-12+ yrs... We would hear about her but no one has really been in contact with her... I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that none of us live up there any longer and not many of us keep in contact with her mom...But I guess you can say that the feeling is mutual... I am really excited to have made contact and hope to keep it... I feel a really strong urge to get things mended or to start anew.

Any hoo... I couldn't avoid the conversation on the way home because we didn't get on the road until after midnight... However the conversation wasn't too bad, we had some very insightful and intelligent conversation... he has mangaged to freak me out on occasion by overly talking about marriage in one way or another... "oh so and so eloped and so did these other friends of mine, would you go to this wedding with me and then this other one... all of my friends are getting married... hey why don't we just get married? if I were to get married I would get this from the military and this.. yada yada yada.. blah blah blah!"

I just don't know what to do about him and this is why I have to break his heart... I just don't want to be in a committed relationship right now.. I want to be free to have fun and do what ever I want to do...or whom ever I wanna do...lol

Well enough of my psycho-babble I am going to go see Willow play at the temple bar in Santa Monica tonight. I am soo excited to see her again! Last time or the first time I saw her she was playing at my friend "vegheadnutboy"'s house. It was such an amazing night aside from the fact that I missed her oncore preformance because I was too busy trying to talk & hook up with the "cellphonefreak". Geez, wasn't he just a waste of my time and money... He was the first man I slept with after two years of living and being a lesbian... Then after freak boy left, the guys in the band, excluding willow, my exgf, "photohottie"(veghead's roomie) and I all dove off of the 2nd street bridge into the ocean! It was a blast and a total wake-up call at 3 in the morning! The phosphorescent were absolutely breathe-taking! I can't or couldn't wait to do it again...

Well, Time to shower and get pretty for the "newbie", I think he is going to be over here any minute now...