l Will it rain on my white skirt tonight? l

| May 28, 2004 || 12:20p.m. |

If you want to read what I wrote this morning click here

I dreamt last night & it really is sticking out in my mind. I dreamt I had a child. Not so much as I gave birth to a child but some how acquired one. There was an old woman trying to breast feed him/her when I asked if she was lactating [of course to which she said no], I asked if I could try. I don�t know what compelled me to do this. I reached for the child & watched him/her nuzzle next to my breast like a lost pup for mommy�s teat. I gently pulled down my shirt exposing my nipple and bringing the child into a cradling position tucked close to my chest. As I watched the little lips affix themselves to me I felt the pressure of life trying to be pulled from my breast. It started out as a tingling sensation almost making me giggle but then I felt a weight drop under my chest and as if something was being ripped or pulled from me. I realized that even though I had not recently given birth my breast had begun to give up milk thus causing such pain. All together it was a painful yet enlightening moment. I felt instantly connected to this child as if I�d die for him/her. Perhaps it was an unconscious dream from listening to my usual morning show & their topic a few days ago about how to raise children & breastfeeding etc. I remained there with the child nourishing them until they fussed & then I just held them mimicking the motions I�ve seen my LBG do w/ her young one until s/he fussed & I brought them to my other breast.

There was so much more to the dream: a house, a spoiled boy that was somehow related to the child, I was running away from something or was it towards the baby? So many factors that I wish I had been able to document as soon as I woke up. I used to keep a dream journal near my bed however I never know what bed I am going to be sleeping in.

Thea & I came up with a great idea two nights ago & I don�t know why I am just now getting around to writing about it. I am not sure what the real name for it is but I am going to buy a journal & starting doodling or writing in it then I will mail it to Thea for her contributions & then so on & so forth until it comes back full circle or until it is full up. Once that happens whom ever wants a copy of the creation can have one, as I will duplicate it with kinkos or something. I came across a diary like this online years ago & you could even flip through the pages online. It looked so amazing & fun � all there strangers writing random part of their lives or perhaps even making it all up, adding photos, drawings etc; for the life of me I can�t seem to find that site or what it was called again. Well this inspired me just days ago to start something like this. So here I go on my lunch break to buy a nice big blank book to start off by sending to Thea & then perhaps off to BG in Norway. I will begin my putting my mailing info right in the front of the book so when it is finished or if it gets lost somehow maybe it will end up back with me.

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