l Day of Deletion l

| Thursday, Feb. 13, 2003 || 12:41 p.m. |

You were my first girl friend; I loved you� I love you still. The rage that filled my heart last night as your gf put her hand around my throat curdles my blood even today. The notion that you even think that she did the right thing pisses me off even more. You were the drunken fool attacking ignorant men, I was the girl trying to calm you down, prevent you from disgracing yourself in public. Words drift off in air if left unrequited, His words were harmless, spiteful, ignorant but harmless. You put the venom in his words, gave them power they should have never known when you took your vengeance against nothing but words spoken not even to you nor about you.

How dare you misconstrue my intentions, my love only confirmed moments prior for the sake of an immature, adolescent, a dishonest, unfaithful companion known for mere months. The tears we�ve shared, blood, sweat & pain. I left you for a reason, immaturity, irresponsibility� all of these I had thought you had conquered, I was wrong. She was good for you, the last one. It took a more than 365 for me to see what was kind, gentle & loving yet you took her for granted as you did me. This one is a real winner, our mutual friend was right � you two are exactly alike; you and this new little girl. Yes, I said little, not in size for we both know she is twice mine. Mentally no, she is weak; emotionally she is inept. Yes you two are perfect together�

Amusing do I find it that you have the notion I would not press charges of assault; it was indeed just that. Do you not recall the last person that assaulted me? My own friend in a drunken stupor not even realizing whom it was she assaulted, I most certainly pressed charges there � this cunt is not my friend & apparently neither are you� If I hear even whispers of you attempting vengeance on the bar or anyone from last night � consider the fact that both you and your bitch will be in prison and you made that call yourself.

All these years and you are still screaming �why me?�, �I did nothing�, �for no reason�. The blame game never falls on you now does it? Do you need a mirror placed in front of your face? Can you even accept any of your own mistakes? I can. I have. I will always admit my faults there is nothing to gain from running. A flower will not grow when denying itself from the sun.

It�s really interesting to hear you say that you have done more with your life then I ever will, you will be successful & obtain your dreams� Doesn�t this sound familiar? Didn�t I hear this from someone else recently? If being a compulsive liar, compulsive cheater is what I am missing out on with my life then I am glad. You can have it, if that is your dream; how you will obtain your success � just like what you wrote in your letters to the scarlet N, �I have gone back to school and now I have earned my c.s.a� Now the initials might be wrong but you were stating that you were a big shot in Hollywood and working on sets or whatnot. Uuh� yeah right! Fringe Benefits is hardily Hollywood, I love the company & it�s cause but please! That was all a lie, and what was it you were attending Santa Monica City College? That was just another lie to make yourself look good to one of your little mistresses.

I am tired of caring for someone who doesn�t respect the friendship I have fought so hard to keep. Did you know I was faced with an ultimatum when in Wisconsin, I chose you! Why? Why? Now I have no reason to defend why I caused unnecessary friction between my relationship with him. Yet I did� because I believed in our friendship. We were best friends. That was no way to treat a best friend.

You say your gf knows you, how to calm you down, be a real gf � apparently something I didn�t, sorry hun, I never was cause you never deserved it. I know you better than she does or will ever � just no longer who you are & I from what happened last night I don�t even want to�

The End

**Do you think I should press charges against her gf for the assault? Please let me know...** ~edited 2:54pm