l Monday, bloody Monday... l

| Monday, Feb. 10, 2003 || 1:52 p.m. |

I have had a cramp in my neck for almost a week now� you think it might be from going to the Chiropractor? I hope not, I have never had a negative experience with one & this guy I really like� that would be very unfortunate. I feel this grapefruit of a know on my left side� I can�t really turn my head to look left and as much as I stretch that shoulder muscle it just won�t budge. Ever realize how hard it is to give yourself a back massage? I tried to soothe out that know yet I forgotten that that thumb is not healed� Oops that hurt. I wanted to start exercising today but it�s the tenth� I started bleeding today so as you can imagine cramps + stiff neck/shoulder cramp = more laziness & weight gain� What is wrong with my frigging stereo? It keeps getting all static-e.

Last year at this time I was in a funky relationship with a charmingly sweet, adorable marine who is now over seas� I cheated on him & he never knew it, everyone else did, it was always right there in front of him but he is charmingly sweet & extremely na�ve. We had a wonderful valentine�s dinner. He didn�t get any, but that was the norm as of this point. I had just moved into my new apartment, he had brought home my baby kitties to me, & made me a wonderful chicken cordon bleu. This year I am doing nothing� No dinner, no flowers, no candy (well at this time of the month I will be eating ice cream or anything sweet). Chances are I will be spending the evening alone with Torin (the last of the two kitties) & my netflix. I feel bad about how things panned out with the missionary man. I really truly do. Now that he is not being released from the marines & sent to the Middle East I start to worry. Mind you I wouldn�t marry him then & that has not changed but we did have a great friendship before Vegas & now there is nothing left but a memory. Huh� sounds familiar doesn�t it? Sparks fly in Vegas, Angel gets a hair up her arse & fucks things up� only difference is one I cheated on (the sex was that horrible); the other incredible sex, got knocked up, then blew up� everything. Come to think of they were both small men, gorgeous but small (willies). How interesting that one was horrible yet the other incredible�

Next topic please~ I found ants this morning� I hate ants, I loathe ants, they mean dirty, unkempt & that is one thing my place is not! I maybe lazy but my place is so clean I don�t know what else to do with it. I have so much clean space; my bedroom, which is usually cluttered with clothes piles, is barren! One pillow on the floor that�s it & that is the �floor� pillow I used at the computer! I could exercise in my dining room, with what thought? Jumping jacks? Jazzercise? Yah right. I need to start my yoga� I have been saying that now for how long? I talk a lot now I just need to put some action behind these words & I�d be set.